My Love

I wish my love could heal you baby

take away every hurt

kiss away the pain

silence the worries

I wish my love was enough to save you

I wish my love could protect you from this cruel world

I wish my love could break your every fall

My love for you is so strong

and yet I feel so powerless

-Nov 2017

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Cold Weather

I know we fight

I know we don’t always get it right

I’m sorry I didn’t pick up your calls

It’s just that my mind was going crazy inside these walls

I’ve never had someone mean so much to me

Being this vulnerable can make me a little uneasy

Even if I cry, just know I always want to try

Even in cold weather, I’ll always want to stay together

-Jan 2018

Dear Dateable (Feb) Advice Column

Dear Dateable,

What if I can’t tell if he loves me or not?

DD:I went back and asked if this was a current relationship or a crush because I think the answers would vary a little and I’ve decided to answer it both ways. It may be worthwhile to check out my post on signs he’s into you.

For a crush: There’s a lot of uncertainty for the two of you, so not knowing if he loves you or not is very stressful. Since he is your crush I imagine you’ve been paying a lot of attention to him. Does he make an effort to talk to you, ask you about your days and hobbies? Does he ask if you’ll be at that party this weekend or try to find ways to be around you? If the answer so far has been mostly No then maybe he’s not good at expressing his thoughts verbally and you need to see his actions instead. Does he find ways to be near you? Does he do little things that make your life easier?

If the answer is still No then a lack of maturity could be the issue or sadly, he just might not be that into you (link older article). One last thing to keep in mind though is have you made it obvious to him that you like him? Could he read those questions and mostly answer Yes? Have you been honest and straightforward “I like you, I would like to date you, what do you think?”

I know it’s scary to put yourself out there like that but this not knowing will fill you with doubt and destroy your peace of mind from the inside out so even if it’s not the answer you’re hoping for, it’s better to know for sure than always wonder.

For a relationship: It’s very possible you might have a different love language than your significant other. That’s very common and nothing to fear. The way in which you show love and expect it to be shown back to you might be very different than the way your significant other naturally shows their love for you. For example, you might be vocal about your love, writing love letters, showering them with compliments, and always ending an exchange with ‘I love you’. Your significant other might be quiet or reserved and you may be hurt that they never compliment you or say I Love You first. This is where it’s important to 1. Figure out your love language and your SO’s love language and 2. Directly communicate to your SO that you need to be shown some love in your love language (to continue the example, you might ask them to write you a note of appreciate or love or to make the effort to compliment you more).

It’s important you find out the love language of your SO other because this can help you notice the ways in which they ARE showing their love. For example, they might show love by spending quality time together. No matter how busy their schedule is, they make sure that they are home to spend every dinner with you. And sure, you are capable of walking the dog by yourself, but they walk with you every time for that extra one on one time. This extra effort may have been going by unnoticed to you. You may have even gotten annoyed when they asked you to check your social media apps after dinner but now you’re realized how much they cherish that time of undivided attention and connection.

Aside from realizing all the ways you are being shown love, you can also make the effort to show them love in that same way as well. You’ll feel connected again when you start making this effort along with seeing them make the effort to speak your love language too.

You’re the One

You’re the one I’m thinking of tonight

because I’m feeling good, like I finally got life right

like when the sun is shining and the wind is on your face

but maybe the only thing I got right is you

and that’s enough for me baby.

You’re the one I think of on a rough night

when my chest is heavy and my head don’t feel right

like when you’re lost and afraid in the dark

but the moonlight guides you to the morning horizon.

because I want you and I need you baby

You’re the one

-Nov 2017

Public Love Letter to My Valentine

Last year I wrote “I’d be a really good girlfriend“, and I still stick to the anti Valentines Day mayhem but as it’s my first time being in a relationship I’m making this one exception. You all might have also recently learned, I’m not the romantic one around here so I’m going to write about the things he does that I appreciate!

First off, right from the start I never had to second guess how he felt about me. I had been around the dating app scene for over a year and could never commit to anyone or find anyone willing to commit to me. Boyfriend made sure we were ‘official’ ASAP and I was thrilled. The second way he made me secure in his feelings for me was how verbal he is about them. As he mentions in the Q&A, he said I love you first to me.

He’s a romantic, leaving notes in my work bag, cooking for me, and gifting me with little things randomly. Like on that weekend trip, we were in a bookstore and we walk out and I see he has a necklace in his hand for me. He takes care of the things I accidentally leave at his place and makes sure I always get to my car safely and checks that I made it home okay.

He also shows me he wants to spend time with me by basically planning out our next date at the end of the one we’re currently on. He’ll talk about things and adventures he wants us to do together. If I ask if he wants to hang out Tuesday or Thursday, he says both. Definitely in the beginning, he liked planning dates, going to the beach or docks along with dinner.  I’m lazy now and just want to watch Netflix but he’ll always ask what we’re doing and how to make our time together fun.

I love his work ethic even if it does mean regularly going into the office saturday mornings. He shows dedication and hussle to succeeding at work and I know that transfers over into all aspects of his life. It also shows his commitment even when time are hard or you’re doing things you really don’t feel like doing. I wouldn’t have lasted more than 2 months at his job so how he’s survived, I’ll never really know but I sure am impressed! (And definitely look forward to him working a job that does not have these long stressful hours.)

He’s also very funny in a creative way. He does impersonations and bits of fictional characters. He’ll use props around the house to add in on the fun. We also both like stand up comedy (kinda how we met) and I have a lot of fun incorporating comedy lines into our day to day conversations.

I’m a very anxious person and can get flustered easily but Boyfriend helps me not take life too seriously. He slows down my panicked pacing, letting me actually enjoy my surrounds and take a breathe. I’m always afraid of the rules, never wanting to get in trouble while he considers any deviation from the approved path a fun adventure.

If i’m upset he’ll try to call or even come over and see me in person so he can soothe away whatever is troubling me. If he’s already with me when I’m sad or frustrated, he knows to try to wait for me to talk it out or to distract me with light conversation. He handles my mood with just ease and I’m lucky he doesn’t seem to mind.

So there you have it, my boyfriend is the best and you poor suckers are missing out haha.