When is it Time to take a Break from Dating?

So you’ve just gotten home from yet another Okcupid date…Your back hurts from sitting all night, your cheeks burn from all the nervous laugh and perhaps fake upbeat smile you’ve had plastered on, and your heart aches because yet again the Dating Gods have let you down.

You were all excited earlier today, you had been text flirting for weeks, thrilled by the potential- a cute local guy with a decent career, talk about a diamond in the rough these days. But all he did was talk about his fancy job and expensive cars, or his exes, or how he gets blackout every weekend. Its been like this for months, years even and you’ve had enough.

Its time to take a break from dating if:

You’re worn out from all the hype and let down of going on these dates. Your self esteem has started to take a beating from all the disappointment. You’re beginning to think there’s something wrong with you instead of something wrong with the connection.

You’ve lost sight of the type of person you’re looking for and have noticed a slip in your standards. (Don’t settle for sexist Mark just because his teeth are whiter than unemployed Joe’s please oh please girl I beg you). Do you remember what you were looking for when you first got a dating profile? Are you looking for someone to settle down with or are you looking for someone to have adventures with?

You keep picking emotionally unstable men, or more you feel like they pick you. Honey, they’re not picking you. It’s time you did some self reflection and find some stability in yourself so you can start attracting it as well. You might be self sabotaging because you’re really not ready for a relationship, its just that all of your girlfriends are in relationships and your grandma won’t stop talking about your ovaries at the dining room table.

Dating has become your hobby. It’s not a hobby, stop trying to make it one. If you’re spending hours browsing potential matches, then flirting, texting, and preplanning multiple evening long dates, then we need to reevaluate how you spend your time. It was always a bummer seeing some of the same profiles as months and months go by, and then realizing they might be thinking the same thing about you, its a sad look in the mirror. Delete the app and go take a walk in the park. Your profile becomes more interesting if you actually do more things, not because of all the extra time you spend editing it.

Hey you might find that cute guy with a decent career at that park. And No, its not because you finally stopped looking. Its because you finally stopped judging profiles with your unrealistic expectations and obsessing over your very move.

 

Hate

Every now and then your name comes up in conversation

Or I hear you that you’ve been talking to somebody new

And I almost care but then I remind myself that I’ve moved on too

But I start to hope that maybe some day you’ll call

And then I hate you cause you don’t

and I hate myself for thinking that you would

 

-april 2014

Should You Give Your Ex A Second Chance?

AKA, Is it a really dumb idea to get back with an ex?

Did you guys give it a fair shot the first time? Or was it more of a relationship that never reached its potential? If you were legit dating for 4-6 months, I’d say that was a solid try and things weren’t meant to be. Your ex is someone of your past for a reason, if it didn’t work out then, it probably won’t work out now.

Did you just break up last month? The feelings of doubt and loneliness are normal, make a date night with your girlfriends and keep on healing. No matter what, its important to let time do its thing and take a solid break.

It might be important to consider why things ended the first time. Did one of you move away, was he just an asshole and you finally got sick of his shit, or maybe you weren’t ready for things to get so serious and bailed.

Unfortunately, things usually aren’t so black and white. There’s usually a few reasons why things didn’t work out, some making you want to try again and others whispering that you’d be a fool to think he changed.

But if you were unhappy in that relationship, don’t let loneliness and a few bad first dates wear you down. Don’t go back and settle because the first couple of months haven’t been easy. Love doesn’t just get handed to you, you gotta fight for it.

Honestly, people rarely change. They can change, they are capable of it. But the majority stay the same. But I think this lesson is meant to be learned the hard way. The heart is emotional and irrational, no logic nor list of his bad habits will save it.

Heck, maybe you should just take him back for one night, flush him out of your system, and then leave his sorry ass in the morning 😛

If he’s matured, if you’re both looking for the same thing, and are on the same page, then maybe the timing will finally be right for you two.

The Repair Man

I said I got a harsh way of looking at this unforgiving world.

He said I repair windows all the time but I’d like to keep those topaz eyes because they look just fine when staring at mine.

I said I got a spare tire around my aging waist

He said, I’ve been working on cars for nearly 25 years now and I’ve never seen wheels look that good before.

I said nevermind that now, I left the door to my heart open for too long and its gone cold now. People have taken and taken, its no longer furnished, only bare now. I’d hardly call it a home anymore.

He said, Give me a few days to build you a chair so you can rest in front of the fire I have burning for you. I’m not a man that needs much, just a simple roof over my head sounds like love to me.