Emotional Cheating

I think a lot of people have different definitions of cheating. Some draw the line at provocative dancing while others only think a full fledge affair constitutes cheating. Some people think different types of cheating are worse than others like if it only happened once or if it was only when drunk and under the influence. The offense seems to be worse when there’s more emotion involved. When it was with a clear mind and happened multiple times with the same person. So why is it that emotional cheating seems to get over looked sometimes?

There’s this delusional belief that if you never meet up in person then you never cheat. Or if it’s not nudes, if it’s not sexual in nature, then it’s not cheating. These things can start innocent enough, just someone in need of a support system. Maybe things are hard with your significant other right now and you just want someone to talk to.

The problem occurs when you stop communicating with your SO. Instead you’re telling all personal issues to this new confidante. You’re no longer only talking to them when you need advice, you’re talking to them when you’re happy, bored, and alone. There’s now a daily connection and although you don’t think you’ve done anything wrong, there’s something stopping you from telling your SO about it.

Would it bother you if your SO didn’t tell you things anymore? Would it bother you if you didn’t know who your SO’s emotional support system was? A support system is a type of relationship if you have to keep it on the down low.

 

 

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10 comments

    1. How funny we wrote about similar things around the same time but had different viewpoints. I’m glad you reached out so I could read yours and I hope you don’t assume I judge your viewpoint. In fact, I actually think we’re closer in line than you think. Your whole paragraph about respect and respecting you enough to tell you about it and not keep anything a secret is exactly what I was getting at! Open relationships are healthy and functional as long as there is trust and open communication! I think I ended my post saying that if you’re deleting messages and don’t feel like you can talk to your partner without issue, then that’s breaking trust/cheating. That’s what I was getting at, if its not okay with your partner then that boundary should be respected!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Glad you read and enjoyed it… and that we agree 😊 yes I noted that you said that, I just assume that most people would raise their eyebrows at the very least at the mention of being physical with anyone else… a lot of people can be closed minded about such if they themselves wouldn’t like it

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  1. man…you touched on a couple of really important issues here. The first being the definition of cheating and how it varies person to person. A lot of times, we enter relationships assuming that the person we’re dating has the same “common sense” that we have on certain topics such as infidelity. And maybe its our ego that tricks us into believing that our perspective is the only right one. Either way, I’ve learned the hard way that these conversations should be had before entering the relationship…not after.

    Lastly…

    I adore your explanation on what happens when you stop communicating with your SO. Its crazy how something that starts off so intentional can become the exact opposite. Not everyone realizes the risk that they are taking when confiding in someone other than your SO (especially someone of the same sex). I love your post!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you so much! You’re absolutely right that the ego thinks it’s always right and everyone should think the same way. Definitely important to have that type of conversation and open communication early on!
      I think there’s a bit of subconscious, underlying desires that lead us to jumping off the deep end of risk and ruining a good relationship. Or maybe the relationship wasn’t that good and this was a way to end it.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I completely agree with you about the emotional cheating being the worst! It’s hard because with physical cheating theres a clearer line that gets crossed…But with emotional cheating sometimes our hearts stumble 5 paces ahead when we didn’t intend them too. I think a lot of people land here when they feel unappreciated or are craving validation. And you’re absolutely right, communication with your significant other is so so important.

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    1. I definitely agree that the lines for emotional cheating aren’t as clear cut. And everyone feels differently on what they’re comfortable with. And I do completely agree that when you stop noticing and appreciating your partner then emotional cheating is more likely to happen.

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