Do We Ever Stop Thinking About Our Exes?

I don’t know if it was the nostalgia of the holidays or what but I’ve been thinking about my two ‘exes’ a lot. That’s actual total BS, it wasn’t the holidays because every time I hear a loud truck engine I think of Mr. Romantic and Stubborn’s favorite season is Fall so I thought about him and now it’s the month of the Capricorn so I think of him again.

I actually wrote a list of all the things that remind me of Stubborn, I titled it “Things Stubborn ‘ruined’ for Me”. Surprisingly, it wasn’t that long. So what gives? The guy never gave me the time of day so why 2-3 months later does going into his part of town affect me so much? I decided to play along with that 1 week for every month break up idea, turns out I’d still have 2 months and 3 weeks left. But that wouldn’t explain why I still think about Mr. Right, I should have been over him in 6 weeks.

Do I have an obsessive personality? I am I not over these boys? Do I feel like each ‘relationship’ was left unfinished? Am I a hopeless romantic caring too deeply?

I tend to give up on shows mid season so I don’t really think obsessive is right. Mr. Right and I don’t have a possible future together and Stubborn could never show his appreciation for me so I don’t really think it’s because they were ‘the one that got away’. So the only current option left is my hopeless romantic heart.

Mr. Romantic actually wished me a Happy Holidays last month so I don’t feel so weak for thinking about him because clearly he was thinking about me too. And I believe he’s a hopeless romantic as well so this just solidifies my own theory.

Hopeless Romantics always want love to work out. They constant seek out love and are warmed by the feeling. I don’t think any other feeling will compare to romantic love and therefore I cannot wait for the day I find it. But this idea often makes me a fool for love. I try forcing love where it is not (Stubborn) and I try stealing a love that is not meant for me (Mr. Right), trying to make a round peg fit into a square hole.

I think about my exes because they helped me learn what type of love I’m looking to receive and give to my future mate. And for that, I must Thank them. I also look forward to the day that old memories are replaces with new and that list shrinks down further till I rarely think of them at all.

Because God help me if I’m 50 and Eric Church’s Springsteen comes on the radio and I still think of Stubborn being 18 and falling in love with some girl he met before me.

 

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16 comments

  1. I still think about my exes at the strangest times, but my reaction to these memories has changed over time. Things that used to make me cringe now make me laugh. Things that used to make me feel small and insecure now make me feel grateful for the bullet I dodged. Life goes on, and memories fade, but some things will stick with you and nag at you until you can make sense of them. (And when they start to make sense, you’ll probably laugh and feel grateful for having dodged a bullet!)

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  2. I think about/get reminded of exes all the time still and I’ve been married 13.5 years. Some more than others – I am still friends or on friendly terms with the majority of mine anyway – but as addie said the gut reaction changes after awhile. It’ll stop being so visceral in time.

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  3. I think most people do but most won’t admit it or say so aloud because we’ve been conditioned to believe that any talk or even thought about our exes is unhealthy or a sign that we haven’t moved on – as if those experiences didn’t make us into the persons we are today.

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    1. I was thinking about mine too the other day and while writing my reply, I just thought of my next blog post. I don’t think it’s bad to think of the past. Self awareness in your personal journey is key. I’m a hopeless romantic too and it’s made me patient in finding “Mr.Right”. I’m positive you’re heading towards happiness. 🙂

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      1. Exactly. And sometimes ex stories are funny stories – except to one girl I went on a date with. I was sharing one of my online dating adventures with her, and she got into a big snit because she wanted to learn about me and I was “talking about other girls.” But she was a weirdo anyway. Wanted to know more about me, but wouldn’t ask me a single question about myself. Just sat there staring at me, so I had to go from personal topic to personal topic until I’d finally land on something she approved of. And I think that in itself is a funny story, but I shy away from even sharing that now because then I’ll get some girls who’ll interpret it as “oh you’re still hung up on her.” smh

        Hmm. I might have to check out your blog.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. When I first started dating my current boyfriend, I talked to him about my ex incessantly. I knew then that it was not a topic I should have been talking about, but I wanted to go into my new relationship with open lines of communication, which my boyfriend understood. It took a few weeks (maybe months), but I eventually stopped talking about him.

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    1. Hahah Im glad you’re boyfriend was understanding, and I agree it might have been helpful for him to learn like what your ex did that you didnt like. I used to always ask potential suitors about their exes and regret it later on when I was catching feelings.

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  5. Love this. Honestly, at least in my experience, you never truly forget an ex one hundred percent. Instead, what you must focus on is channeling the pain, sorrow, or regret into lessons learned, appreciative memories, and the mentality that you’re one failed relationship closer to the right one.

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