Judgments Whether You Like it or Not

So this profile had messaged me on OkCupid. We chatted for a little and then he offers his number suggesting to grab coffee sometime. It’s at this point I’ll mention that he only had one picture.. of his abs. And his profile had a total of 12 words. Oh and his location was 10 hours away! The complete lack of effort to make a profile suggested to me that he wasn’t really looking to make much of an effort in a relationship. So I told him that it seemed like he was just looking for causal fun.

He called me judgmental, suggested I wasn’t the type of girl for casual fun but was special (I think this was a compliment… ), and explained how he actually lived nearby but was away for work.

I decided to make a poll on Twitter since I was so worried that this was now the second time I’ve been called judgmental and worried I actually might be shallow! Convinced that strangers of Twitter would agree with me, I was shocked by the results. (But like seriously, tell me in the comments what you would assume because I’m still not backing down).


Maybe I am judgmental… Is it okay to be judgmental sometimes? If you add a picture of your car to a dating site, I’m going to assume you really love cars. And if every picture is of you and some friends at a bar then I’m going to assume you like going to the bars every weekend. Or at least it’s the only place you have your photo taken… Maybe then I’d ask if you know a local bar or what’s your favorite drink. Then we could bond over having things in common or finally talk about something you really enjoy.

I can’t begin to tell you the amount of messages I get about my dog in my main picture. And I love it! That’s exactly what I want to talk about! This is how you decided to describe yourself to a bunch of strangers/suitors. Don’t I have a right to let my mind wander about who you are and what you like?

Photo Credit



  1. Judgemental is only problematic when applied to a majority percent of your social/daily interactions. Assuming/presuming to know just by looking is a dodgy subject, because you don’t, unless you ask. Sure, there’s always a message emanating from our appearance and behaviour, but social media hasn’t truly given us the power to know (more like the illusion of knowing). Everyone is judgemental, as a first step. The second step is to confirm those suspicions, not to assume that they’re true. But hey, ripped abs is a good start to the game.


    1. You make a good point. I did make the statement/question to him about my assuming of his intentions in order to confirm my suspicions and giving him a chance to explain himself. It’s amazing how often people assume in everyday life. It’s a lazy way to live but unbelievably common


  2. I’m shocked by the poll results. I would definitely assume he was simply looking for sex…and I wouldn’t have responded in the first place. I need to know what someone looks like because if I’m not attracted to him, what’s the point?! It’s a waste of time.

    Liked by 2 people

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