Do You Stay with your First Love or not?

Some people break up with their first love reasoning they want to see what else is out there and explore themselves. Are these people just using that as an excuse for some underlying reason when trying to save face? My guess would be yes. It’s a cop out of sorts so that you don’t have to tell your partner how dull they really are or how you sadly fell out of love with them.

One of two things usually happen though, either you get validation that you were in the wrong relationship and find someone new or you realize how good you had it with your previous partner and go back to that relationship. In my opinion though, either result is a win for both partners. For the partner, they either get rid of a relationship where they had been taken for granted or renew said relationship being truly valued and cherished.

So the next question is, Is it helpful/healthy/necessary to date more than one person before you get married? Obviously, there are many happy and successful relationships with high school sweethearts and first loves. But I would like to point out how beneficially I think it is to date someone else before really committing to life with someone.

When you only date one person, you don’t really have a frame of reference for what’s normal and healthy in a relationship. In an extreme case, some people have been in toxic and abusive relationships not truly realizing how controlling and manipulating it was to constantly have your phone searched and screamed at for attending a friend’s birthday party until after they dated someone healthier.

When you’ve been with someone for so long to start to think that this is the only person who could ever really love you and that it’s too much effort to start love over again. This is where you start settling out of fear of ending up alone. That’s definitely not a good reason to stay in a relationship.

So maybe it is healthy to explore relationships with other people so that you understand how you function in a relationship and what a heathy partner and relationship look like.

 

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2 comments

  1. I cannot agree with you more! I dated my high school sweetheart for 8 years and it wasn’t until the final days of our relationship that I realized how emotionally abusive he was. It’s scary to think what my life would be like now if I had chose to stay with him through all the abuse…

    Like

    1. For whatever the reason, I’m glad you guys didn’t end up together! It’s it really crazy how skewed our perspectives can be sometimes? I’m so glad you were able to relate to this article, thanks for taking the time to comment!

      Liked by 1 person

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