If He Acts like He’s Not into You

…then he’s honestly just not into you.

I know every girl wants to believe they can change a man or that they will defy all odds because their love is so strong but that’s a one in a million shot.

If a guy can’t or doesn’t want to make the time to see you, then he just doesn’t actually care enough to make that effort. Sure maybe he’s scared, going through a hard time, or entering a new point in his life that makes him super busy but all that means is that he’s unavailable.

Then there’s the guy that can never take things to the next level. Maybe he says he’s fine being exclusive but then he won’t put a label on it or introduce you as his girlfriend, or at all. This can happen anywhere down the line, together for 3 months or 9 years, you never know where your guy’s invisible intimacy line is. You’ve been together for so long, why can’t he pop the question?

It’s hard to tell what’s worse though, the guy who can’t say those important words or the one who keeps you strung along by promising a non existent future together. I know we’ll be together one day and that’s why you should forgive me for not putting you first now. For me going out with the boys and ignoring you. For me talking to those girls while I’m still young and dumb.

You begin to put up with a lot of crap because you think it will eventually pay off. All you want is to be loved and after you’re with someone for so long you worry you may never find someone willing to stick with you through all the tough times. You’re scared to start over, afraid this is the best it’s going to get, so you settle.

You settle for the guy who’s just not that into you and he settles for you too. He doesn’t see you because he’s wondering if he’ll see someone else. He talks to other girls because he’s unsure if you’re the best he’s going to do. He doesn’t commit to you because he’s worried as soon as he does that the real girl of his dreams will come walking through the door.

That’s why you should be the one walking out that door so that you both don’t settle. Let’s be honest, maybe you’re just not that into him.

 

((This article also works when changing pronouns around, feel free to read it how you identify))

 

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11 comments

  1. Words don’t mean anything if actions do not back them up. I think being strung around by someone who keeps promising and not delivering is worse. They give you breadcrumbs to keep you coming back. Btw I used that same gif once before too – so honest – love it.

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  2. Unfortunately this is something that needs to be learned early on. If women pass 25 and they’re still dating assholes and guys like this, then they seem to get stuck in that rut with little chance of escape. I saw it happen to my sister, and now she’s 50 and still wandering the wilderness. She’s convinced that there’s good in everyone and she can help them/fix them/change them etc. Smgdh. If you want to help people, become a psychiatrist or social worker. Don’t try to do it in the context of a relationship.

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  3. YAS I relate to this so much & funnily enough the film Perks of being a Wallflower resonates with me so much too – ‘we accept the love we think we deserve’. It’s like that film you have quoted, us girls put up with so much in the hope that we’ll find true love but it’s so true, if a guy acts like he doesn’t care he really doesn’t but I always fall for the trap!

    Great blog

    I’m at http://www.careergirlsite.co.uk xo

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    1. Ah yes, that quote nails it too! I know we think we can change men or something so we put up with such nonsense! I’ve spent years chasing the wrong guy making up reasons that he likes me more than he actually does, ugh so embarrassing and tragic.

      Liked by 1 person

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