Love You, Love Me Not

I could love you if you let me

but you keep me outside your heart

my fingertips stroke at the pulse of your vulnerability

No, I guess you’re keeping your heart safe for someone else

My thoughts race for hours stirring up all the ways I don’t measure up

I’d drown in self doubt if Sleep didn’t take mercy on me.

Your heart beats for her but will it bleed?

No flower petal or wishing star is willing to take that bet with me.

See loving you would be bad for my health

My heart would sacrifice me in order to make room for you

And without a home in yours, I grow weak and insecure

Starving for your love would be the death of me.

So this is self preservation baby

I’ve bled too much for you

It’s my life or yours,

and I choose Mine.

-June 2017

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19 comments

    1. The best jokes and poems have a bit of truth in them right? How could I expect my readers to feel the poem if I haven’t felt it myself? And hopefully someone will take strength from my struggles and choose to love themselves like I did.

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      1. I suppose they do. Perhaps a pretty stupid comment for me to make in retrospect. I’m glad you learned lessons from the experience and I’m sure a poem like this will inspire others to do the same.

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      2. I view poetry as fictional because that’s how I write it (take my recent poem about suicide, for example). That doesn’t mean everyone writes poetry the same way. Definitely keep writing from the heart. Also bear in mind that I’m somewhat full of cider at present so that might well have clouded my judgement 😂

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