If you’ve never been on a dating site…

Q&A of all things people who have never been on a dating app might ask! Thanks so much to all those who participated and for reading!!!!

How long do you talk before meeting up?

Of course, all answers will vary here depending on the type of person you ask and the type of relationship they are seeking via these apps. I, personally, never liked to meet the same week that I started talking to someone so the sweet spot for me was around 10 days. This way I could find out what they did during the week (such as school or work) and also what type of weekender they were (from homebody to passed out at the bars). If conversation was flowing and we had similar interests then I would feel more confident that I wasn’t wasting my Saturday evening. Those seeking a more casual relationship would most likely meet up within a few days.

How did you start?   Bexoxo

Wow this is a throwback to November 2013! I transferred colleges (aka didn’t have many friends at the time), was a hopeless romantic, and was looking to fill up some of my free time so I found myself creating an OKCupid account. I was open to meeting people and did date someone for a few weeks right away but plenty of people start out just browsing and chatting until they get comfortable enough with the idea to meet people and actually start dating. Don’t rush yourself, delete and redownload those apps as often as you need.

Do you prefer apps or websites?

I prefer websites because they’re easier to browse by offering different search options. On apps you can only swipe, it’s usually based on location (which like how often does the guy of your dreams live across the street from you? And if he does, why did you need an app to find him?), and app profiles usually have less information on them. I’m going to do a dating app review post eventually but my favorite has always been OKCupid.

Have you ever tried speed dating?

Surprisingly, I have not. It’s funny because people who usually don’t like dating apps will say how meeting by chance in real life is much better. If you’re single and looking to date then speed dating is actually a great idea because you’ll find a decent amount of people who are open to relationships all at the same place. Ironically, I’d imagine speed dating to possibly be more awkward/embarrassing than online dating. But hey, different things work for different people.

What is your go to excuse to run out on a date that’s not going well?

Does anyone actually know someone in real life who had a friend fake an emergency phone call to get out of a horrible date? I’ve only heard of such dramatics in the movies but I do know a true story of a guy who said he was going to the bathroom mid date and then JUST LEFT ! The last excuse I used was saying I had a phone interview and had to get back home for that. (Guess which guy from this post I ended up using that excuse on lol.) Oh and if you want to hear of the craziest excuse a guy used to dump me then you can head over in this direction.

How do you keep your sanity while online dating and not get overly excited when there’s a small connection?   janieleeds

You definitely have to delete the apps and accounts from time to time to keep your sanity. It helps you decompress from all the dating nerves/stress, makes you feel in control of your happiness again, and lifts your spirits out of the hopeless dating pool slump. Also, make sure to have a clear idea of what type of relationship you’re looking for and don’t waste your time on profiles you know aren’t a good match for you.

A weird thing that has happened to me a couple of times is the first date going well and then the second date just being terrible. So I think expectations really make or break a date and it’s definitely tough to get excited for dates only for them to let you down. Most app users keep their excitement in check by talking to multiple people to avoid putting their eggs all in one basket. That’s not a fool proof plan though so other ideas are welcomed.

What’s a misconception about dating apps?

People often think that dating apps suck and you’ll never find an actual relationship on there. And honestly, that’s only really true if you make it true. I do think dating apps attract people who subconsciously self sabotage themselves. You can totally say you’re looking for love but then somehow find something wrong with every guy you meet. You’re digging for excuses because for whatever reason (not over your ex, been lied to and hurt in the past) you’re not really ready to open your heart up again. There are plenty of people that were only on dating apps for a limited time before finding a good match. They knew what they wanted and they didn’t waste their time settling for anything else. There is also a large portion of today’s relationships that started on a dating sites so it really is what you make of your experience.



      1. SImilar, you meet people and then have to remember to the end who you liked. If you both like each other they will send the contact info for the person. I was disappointed as I only got to meet half the people, and the guy who liked interesting, I never got to meet:(


  1. Some good questions with equally good answers. Tough to argue with any of the points you’ve made. I think online dating is extremely useful. Sure, it isn’t perfect, but then neither is dating in the more traditional way. The traditional way is certainly no more virtuous, despite what people may believe.


    1. Thanks Paul! I do totally agree that whether you using dating apps or not, finding love is difficult and people can sabotage themselves even when dating the traditional way too. I’d love to read more about that last line !


      1. I can only go off the comments I’ve heard certain people make and it’s always the same kind of thing (pathetic, desperate, artificial, etc.). They’re always people who have had absolutely no experience in online dating and I find it hilarious that they feel they’re empowered with the pedestal to judge so harshly just because they haven’t tried it themselves. As though never having tried it makes them better and more virtuous. In that circumstance, there’s only one pathetic person for my money. Pathetic and extremely stupid!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s