If you all remember Stubborn from late 2016, I became fed up with his lack of willingness to progress our relationship and decided to cut my losses in order to move forward. Months into my current relationship and he was still hitting me up a couple of times. We never even dating! Granted he was contacting me to complain about his current girl problems and asking for advice.
He didn’t like me enough to ever date me but now he won’t leave me alone. It made no sense to me and I told him I wanted answers. In typical Stubborn fashion he danced around the question with redirects and telling me his problems so I’ll feel bad for him instead of angry.
He continued to express his frustration that the girl he was interested in would not hang out with him or pursue a relationship him. I pointed out just how ironic it was that he was complaining to ME about it and even told him I wrote an article on it. Then hell froze over and he actually apologized. It wasn’t an “I’m sorry but..” or “I’m sorry you feel this way..”. It was a straight I’m sorry. Perhaps he was finally owning up to some of the frustration and doubt he put me through. Finally he could relate so vividly to the exact spot he left me in.
I instantly felt different. Reading the words I’m sorry did something for me. Offered a type of closure and validation. There was finally no excuses nor holes in his explanations. Straightforward and clear, something I always wanted from Stubborn. My struggles and insecurities were validated. I had taken responsibility for the part I played in this delusion. Although he offered it late, he finally seemed to take his share of the blame and the closure was healing for me.
You don’t always get offered closure in relationships. It leaves you wondering where things went wrong, could it have been fixed, and your thoughts circle around your insecurities. I still don’t have all answers for why he always acted the way he did but I learned how to heal some of my insecurities.