How to bring up Spooky subjects with your Partner

As your relationship with your partner grows, you will face some obstacles. Difficult conversation will arise even if the relationship is in a very good place. Once you’ve realized that you can’t avoid this conversations, then you can take a look at these tips:



Pick a good time of day when stress levels are low. Take time to reflect on your moods throughout the week to see when you are most relaxed and would be open to sensitive topics. Next you should talk to your partner about when they feel they are most open minded. This will also give your partner time to prepare themselves for a mentally and emotionally taxing conversation. Granted, when it comes to difficult conversations there is never a perfect time. Don’t put off this conversation waiting for a moment that will never happen. Be brave and start the conversation.


Manage expectations

Realize you may be catching your partner off guard by merely mentioning the topic and they may not have an answer for you right away. Consider the idea that this will be a multiple step process and might not be resolved in one conversation. Be aware that you may not be 100% happy with the outcome and a compromise will most likely have to happen.


Be Present

Difficult topics can not be discussed over text, too much can get lost between the lines without body language and tone to gauge. Feel free to write down your thoughts and refer to them during this sit down conversation but don’t fall into reading a script. This conversation requires your full attention and should not be had in a crowd full of people or while multitasking with driving or chores. It is critical that your partner knows you are listening so cellphones should be put away until after.


Don’t be on the attack

Keep an open mind and make sure you’re hearing your partner’s concerns.They have legitimate concerns and reasonings of their own. Make sure your partner feels heard and does not become guarded. This is a conversation among two equals not an argument that is pinning you against each other. It’s important you don’t begin to view your partner as the enemy. The topic is the enemy that you and your partner must work together to overcome.


Know when it’s time to end the conversation

With sensitive topics comes sensitive emotions. We’re all human and we’re all emotionally invested in our relationships. Someone may yell or someone may get off topic and start nitpicking at you. When the conversation is derailing or when both parties are no longer listening to each other, it’s time to step back and take a break. Let your emotions break and self reflect. Consider where the root is in your reasonings and if you have any concerning hang ups. Consider why your partner may be feeling the way they are.


It’s important for your partner to know that you are fighting for this relationship, not fighting against them. Make sure you’re aware of the issues you will not bend on and consider the outcome if a middle ground can not be met.



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