Why friends are the best at judging boyfriends

Over two years ago I wrote an article about friends judging you when they judge your boyfriend and reading that article again now, I still agree with it as a whole. But now I’m writing the other side of that coin.

Your friends absolutely love you. They see you as a bright, caring, and supportive friend. They can recall all the times you helped them out in a tough situation and all the laughs you’ve shared together to survive school drama.


They see you as your boyfriend should see you and that is why they are the best at judging if someone is right for you. They know how lucky your boyfriend is to have you and they want to make sure he knows it too. He couldn’t find a better girlfriend if he tried and they’ll make sure he doesn’t take that for granted.

They’re protective of you because they know your dating history and they don’t want to see you hurt again. They’ve seen you get dragged down by fixer uppers and they know you’ll put up with more than you should because you fear being lonely. They also know you haven’t had that good guy to show you how good a relationship should be. They want you to find that good guy. They want this boyfriend of yours to be that guy.


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But your friends are also not caught up in all the mushy emotions that fog up your decision making. They won’t let a guy string you along just because he’s hot. This outside perspective is able to judge character well. Your friends know what’s best for you and want you to have it.

They want to support you and they want to have a good relationship with your boyfriend so that you’re never left picking sides. But they also want you to be happy and receiving the love you deserve. If those two aren’t lining up though, they’ll hopefully speak up so that you don’t get hurt. And hopefully, you’ll listen.




  1. I work as a domestic violence/sexual assault support group coordinator for YWCA, and one of the “Red Flags” we teach survivors who are starting to date again is that if your friends or family do not like your perspective love interest LISTEN TO THEM.
    Your blog explains why just perfectly. Well Done!


  2. ‘Friends’ will sometimes sabotage relationships because of reasons that suit them, not you.

    Jealousy, revenge, dares, games and ulterior-motive manipulation can and will screw that belief up. You may lose someone for the wrong reasons.

    Friends or not, judgements on anyone comes down to one person.



  3. I’ve seen that misfire on too many occasions. I will listen to what others have to say about my love interest, but ultimately I will make the decision, because it is only I (and that other person) who knows the ins and outs of the situation. As a friend, I will make my opinion clear, but I will make it obvious that I don’t know it all and it is up to them and I support them.


  4. Friends can be a great sounding board. But I unfortunately had an experience where my “friend” made outlandish allegations against my boyfriend/now husband that she could not prove nor would she offer me any further info that could possibly led to finding proof. This combined with other manipulative behavior showed me that she was acting out of jealous self-interest, not concern. Only trust the word of friends who tell you their concerns openly and honestly without drama.


  5. This is good advice. I actually should be listening to my friends about this a lot more right now, and stop being stubborn about the guys I date. Might save me some heartache
    LOL. Thanks for writing this!


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