How to stop from getting in a relationship rut Part 2

Here are a few more tips and tricks to help keep your relationship healthy.


Write a list or note of some things you appreciate about your partner

As a relationship gets older, you might start taking your partner for granted or start expecting more instead of appreciating all that they already do. Sometimes you need to remind yourself of all the great things they do for you and with you so write a note listing some of the reasons you love your partner. Probably the most important part is the step that comes next, which is sharing that love note with your partner and letting them know that you see the little things they do for you and how much you appreciate them. 

Sharing the love you have for them can warm them up and open them up to show how much they appreciate you as well. A simple note can help ease any resentment that your partner may have been feeling because they felt unappreciated. Reading this note could also spark your partner to want to keep up with doing little things to show their love.


Go see art together and get inspired from your heart

As a poet, going to a concert or seeing a play really inspires me. I feel the emotions of the performance expanding my heart and cracking open my chest. Art is really good for your soul and with that, can be really good for your relationship. You’re both feeling that inspiration and  adrenaline that’s putting your mindframe into a better place. You’re usually experiencing art as a night out to relax so you’re letting go of work life stress and spending quality time together. Art can make you feel good and when you feel good, you want to do good. That’s great for any aspect of your life, including your relationship.


Spend time apart

You may wonder if spending time apart is a backwards step to getting out of a rut but it could be really healthy for the relationship. The relationship may have gotten into a rut because you’re spending all this time together but none of it is quality time and that is definitely not doing any good for your relationship. You come home from work stressed just to have household chores greet you at the door. Your partner may vent about their day which just piles more stress on to you. Or you could start to feel resentment for them either adding to or just not pitching in enough with the household chores. Either way, the intense emotions are just closing in on you and you feel no space is just your own.


This is a good time to regain some of that personal space and put in some me time. Time apart gives you time to detox all those negative emotions you’ve started to associate with your partner. It gives you time to miss your partner and realize you cherish what they do to help relieve your stress from work and the house. It gives you time to evaluate yourself and the relationship. It’s healthy for you which means it will always be healthy for the relationship.



  1. Going to see art is a great idea and something I wish I did more of in my past relationships (the good ones, anyway). It’s a great way to get an intellectual conversation going, distracting you from the normal mundane stuff we talk about with each other.


  2. This is so true! Everybody needs their personal space every once in a while. After having been married almost 14 years, I haven’t yet scratched my husband’s eyeballs out, nor he mine! A little personal time does a body good.


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