When Are You Going to Get Married?

I’ve finally hit the age where the first wave of engagements and babies is coming, and boy is it strong! Especially with the holidays where everyone is really feeling the spirit of family, there was a new social media post every week! I’m so happy for all my school friends and people from my local community that are starting new chapters in their lives! But as I talked to some mutual friends, they began to worry that they were falling behind in life now.

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Growing up, as we watch TV, movies, and society around us, we start to form ideas of when we should get married, buy a house, and have a baby. A strict timeline of having it all by the time you’re 30. I remember at 14 years old, my girlfriends saying they wanted to start having babies at 26. First off, it’s crazy that girls are encouraged to think about these things at such a young age. Secondly, this year we’re all turning 26 and let me tell you, none of us have husbands, babies, or houses. 

 

Everyone has a different life journey, some are closer to these milestones than others. Some of us may not want to reach one of these goals. But society puts this pressure on us to hit these milestones or be deemed an old maid or spinster. 

 

Surprisingly, I’m not feeling any of this pressure. Maybe if I had a boyfriend, I would worry about how our relationship was moving along. But I don’t really think that would happen, seeing as I don’t feel any pressure to even get a boyfriend. I do feel that this is in part due to the fact that the age in my head that I set for myself to be married is still 5 years away. That’s still plenty of time so no pressure.

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I also think society still has plenty of leniency at my current age. Yes, plenty of people at 26 do hit these milestones but it’s at the beginning of the expected range. I also know I’m not ready for any of those milestones. I’m still getting my footing and solidifying my career. Modern medicine has also progressed so although at age 35 you’re considered a geriatric  pregnancy, it is becoming increasingly common for women to start and continue having pregnancies in their late 30s.   

 

We’re reaching a point where society is pushing the timeline back which is good because there’s less pressure when you’re young and still deciding your life path. But I wish that we never had to feel these judgmental pressures. And for anyone who does not want to reach one of these milestones, society will continue to question and pressure you because you’re not fitting into their normal boxes. The next step is for society to let people live outside the boxes without judgement.

 

8 comments

  1. Sod bloody society pressure. Sod all those happy couples on social media. However it does get to you. I know it’s not going to be until the sun becomes a red giant when (if) I get married (or if the right person even exists). Going off on a tangent, it really rubs in the feeling of loneliness. At least going on dates more than once a year is better than never getting to meet new people.

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  2. Always remember, it is your life. When people ask you when are you getting married ask them “ how does me getting married effect you.” It sounds mean at first. But in reality sometimes those questions are just there to make conversation.

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  3. I came of age in the kind of community where people get married more like age 20-24. I’ve struggled with these feelings my entire adult life, combined with the kind of low self-esteem that makes me think no one would want me and views on marriage and relationships that are unacceptable to most of the single women around me. I’m now 43, and getting married was never on the horizon, and I was finally starting to accept that marriage just wasn’t for me. And then I met someone. Life is interesting sometimes.

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  4. Couldn’t have dreamed of having any of that stuff at 26 (five years ago). Definitely good to see society pushing back the timeline on this!

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  5. You’re lucky you’re not feeling the pressure. I’m 32, I live in rural Ohio, and it seems like EVERYONE around me, from age 20 to age 90, is married and has children. I feel left out.

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  6. I assume, 25 to 30 is the peak time to get mingled from single, both biologically and psychologically. After all, wouldn’t want children to be in school when parents reach their age of retirement. Moreover, a higher difference in age between parents and children create a higher generation gap in upbringing when the parents tend to fail to understand the necessities of modern children as societies continues to accelerate.

    By the way, never feel pressurised about marriage or anything in life. Let it come smoothly.

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