I’m only giving the energy that I receive

Since I’m back in the dating game I’ve embraced a new philosophy of only giving out the same energy that I’m receiving. I’m tired of chasing after guys and tired of continuing to talk to guys who aren’t giving me the love and respect I deserve. So if you don’t answer my text for 4 days, guess when you’re getting a text back? In another 4 days. If you don’t like it then change your behavior and I’ll change mine.

 

On the other hand, if you text back promptly and we’re vibing then I’ll do the same. I’ll also give you the courteous of telling you if something comes up and I’ll be unavailable for the next few hours. If you want your time to be respected then you have to give me that same respect.

I’ve wondered if this philosophy is petty but I’ve decided to ignore that inkling. The first reason is, this is about maintaining a power balance, holding suitors responsible for their actions, and teaching them the respect you want and deserve.

I’m not double texting you and coming off as needy.

I’m not getting hung up on you, waiting to have your attention.

I’m not going to brush it off when you cancel on me last minute.

I’m not letting you get away with only texting me on the weekends at midnight.

 

If a guy is sweet and attentive, that’s the guy I want to attract and have him feel the same way he makes me feel. If a guy is emotionally unavailable and playing for my attention then you’ve guessed it, I’m unavailable. I’m unavailable for your games because I’m focusing on the guy who is focusing on me.

 

The second reasons is because I’ve recently heard the term Frustration Attraction. When someone doesn’t text you back, when someone doesn’t give you their time or attention, it gets very frustrating. You start to wonder why, if they’re just busy or if it has something to do with you? Are they not in to you, why not? Did you do something wrong? Now you’re obsessing over it, now you’re trying to prove yourself to him. Now the power balance is off.

 

This is why I suggest matching their energy right off the bat. Don’t let the power become unbalanced and don’t let yourself get obsessed and attached so easily. Don’t start putting your eggs in this guy’s basket when he’s barely even looking your way. I used to brush off and ignore this behavior in the beginning and then weeks later suddenly find myself obsessing over this trash character. We’re not standing for it anymore, ladies. We’re out here matching energies and focusing on our lives until there’s an energy out there that deserves us.

18 comments

      1. As a guy, I can confirm. This is sound advice for anyone. If the balance of power is disrupted in the early stages of dating, the relationship will suffer for it!

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      2. Yeah! One person chasing the other really throws things off. Like you’re always trying to prove something!

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  1. Hey you,
    Thank you for liking my post. I enjoyed reading your prospective about dating. You’re correct.dating is different. I think you’re courageous.I still say,Teach People How to Treat You. We are victorious women.

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  2. Loved this!! The best way is to not chase the storm. If someone isn’t coming after you then don’t waste your time on lukewarm conacts/communication or motivation!!! The people that make the best marriage material is someone that was happily married and it ended by death or they were the wronged party in a divorce. Find someone that loves being married happily, worked for me!!
    xoxo

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    1. Glad that worked for you, but I hope you realize that it won’t work for many many MANY people out there. For instance, most women within childbearing age range absolutely refuse to even date a man who was formerly married. Especially if the man is honest and up-front about it.
      Besides, Marriage is obsolete (and borderline unethical in today’s modern society).
      But I feel your sentiment tho

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  3. Matching energy is all I do. But lately I’ve been finding that to be draining. Not matching, you just gotta go! *adds homie to the block list* and she lived happily ever after 💆🏽‍♀️

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  4. If a guy doesn’t respond to my text for 4 days he is not receiving a response from me at all! He is not worth my time and I am moving on. It shouldn’t take anyone 4 days to respond unless they have an excuse. Bye!

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    1. Have you ever considered dating men who WANT to communicate with you regularly? I dunno why so many women insist on dating men who are emotionally (or even logistically) unavailable, when there are PLENTY of available men right in front of them. i don’t get it. I guess my lack of understanding is why I’ll die single, LOL!

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  5. It’s not petty at all. It shouldn’t be such a struggle to get to know someone. If it’s a struggle at the beginning it doesn’t bode well for the long term in my opinion.

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