What are you looking for on here

In order to not waste each other’s time, an early question in the online dating world will be “What are you looking for on here?”. 

You never want to start off as seeming desperate so you always play it cool. Originally, I would go for an open ended, lighthearted response because I know boys scare easily. But now, if the idea of a relationship scares you then I don’t even want to waste my time hand holding you through the beginning of a relationship.

And that’s why I hate guys who say they’re 

“taking it day by day” 

“wherever it leads is where I end up” 

“nothing in particular” 

“just seeing how things go” 

“idk what I’m looking for”

(all actual quotes I’ve received)

I get not wanting to come off too strong but these guys just don’t care at alllll. I hate the wishy washy, could take it or leave it attitude. I want someone who cares and puts in effort. Who shows respect and potential. I know finding a real match is difficult and a lot of dating is ‘seeing how things go’ but I want someone who is mentally and emotionally ready to commit. 

These are guys that are just not as desperate as the guys who say they’re straight up looking for a good time. But they both are looking for the same thing. Casual, surface level companionship. They’re just trying to spin it a little differently so you’ll be fooled into thinking they really care about you. 

I’m looking for a boyfriend and I know these guys aren’t looking to settle down anytime soon and I’m not going to waste my time on that. I know friends with benefits can turn into a real relationship but that’s the exception to the rule and I’m not counting on beating the odds with that one. 

Unfortunately, some people just use dating apps as a way to pass the time and stave off boredom. It seems I’ve been running into a lot of them lately.


  1. I would say to put your money where your mouth is regarding dating sites. The free sites will generally be people looking for hook ups. There are match maker agencies for those who are looking for serious commitment – but that is serious money! I hope you find someone to help with the lonely evenings.


  2. Enjoy yourself in some hobbies and you might “run” into someone with a similar interest. At the very least, if the person with a similar interest isn’t interested in the type of relationship you’re seeking then at least you still can share an equally enjoyable similar interest. But never seek out a person who has hobbies in both stamp collecting and archery.


  3. When I was on the dating apps if anyone responded like that I immediately stopped talking to them. You want someone who responds and says they are looking for something serious or a girlfriend. Weed out all those other guys who just say what they think you want to hear. My favorites were the ones like “I’m open to anything that comes my way. I’m a go with the flow person. Blah blah blah” yeah, okay. Next!!


    1. Exactly! The blasé responses drive me nuts! I feel like those guys also won’t even meet up when it comes down to it. They’re just looking for some entertainment on their phone


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