The Dating Curse
I think most daters consider themselves cursed in someway, whether it’s the fact they have so many first dates and rarely make it to the second or they say the conversation of moving in together always ends in breaking things off.
I, myself, am cursed.
Every time I start liking a guy and decide it’s time to delete my dating apps because I’m barely even on them anymore is about the same time that we stop talking. It usually happens within the same week, as if they sense it! With Different it happened just hours later! Am I really bad at reading people’s emotions or is this just bad coincidence?
Maybe they notice a shift, like I’m closing the distance, like this could be turning into something real. If that’s the case then I don’t plan on changing my curse, just the guy.
The issue with curses is that sometimes you fear them coming so much that you wish them into reality. You could get that second date if you stop worrying about what’s wrong with each guy on the first date. And of course having a curse is a good way to place blame. Why does dating keep not working out? It’s the curses fault, if I wasn’t cursed this wouldn’t happen!
If something you don’t like keeps happening, its unfortunately not a curse, but a bad habit. Behavior has to change in order to lift ‘the curse’. There’s no Prince Charming that slayed dragons and saved you from your curse. It was you, your self awareness, and your effort to improve.
I would love to blame the curse but you’re right…it’s not. I can get past the first date and onto the second date but then that’s about it. The third date the guy just wants sex. I don’t bother deleting my apps because it’s already so hard to have one pleasant first date because I get guys that just aren’t my match or they just want to bang. 🤢
I wouldn’t agree more. I have recently gotten to the dating thing and it’s truly hectic. It helps that my intuition has grown stronger, which really helps in sieving out some, doesn’t make it easier though. The talking phase, opening up and telling your story over and over again is hectic.
Thanks for the like on my December blog post. It’s refreshing to read you write so openly about dating because it can be difficult for many people of all ages. I think knowing what our own intentions are is the most important thing. I used to be very focused on what the other person wanted or needed. I now *try* to tune into what I want and need, too. Good luck on the dating scene. Peace to you. xx
Beautiful post, and blog overall, I like how you say the things that I personally cannot always find the words to express. Love can be contrite sometimes.
Someone once told me it took them 100+ first dates until they found the one… I’m at 72, pray for me! lol
I’ve been doing the online and just happens dating thing for years.
It’s not bad luck.
This might get a gigantic boo, but it’s you.
My blog is going back through the dates…..one by painful one—as I remember them. And I’m finding those frustrating moments in ME. The gazillion second chances. The ignoring red flags because I loved the feeling of love—or I loved the feeling of beautiful.
The whole thing is a work in progress- self reflection is hard. Owning up to your past mistakes is hard. Figuring out “the type” of guy you keep picking is hard…. but it isn’t a curse.