Times have definitely changed when it comes to dating and it’s time these dating rules get an update. No more waiting three days to call nor footing every bill to the male. We’re strong, independent women who no longer need a man…still we want him.
In a previous post, I briefly mentioned this guy who would talk about his other dates on our dates. That’s rule number 1, when using dating apps we all know you’re in different stages of talking and dating multiple people. You’re doing it, I’m doing it, he’s doing it, the trick is to not be the jerk who talks about it. You don’t impress me by telling me about the obsessive girl texting you during our date and I definitely don’t care about the girl you saw last night when I was busy. Instead, I’ll think you’re more interested in those girls or maybe just a guy who’s so starved for attention he needs it from multiple girls.
But with everyone going on multiple dates, you need to make an impression and establish a connection quicker. In the past you might keep the conversation light so you don’t rock the boat too early, but now we tend to dive into important topics within the first couple of dates. There are so many profiles and options with online dating, you need to know if this person is a good match for you ASAP so you don’t waste your time and miss out on a better fish.
Before the age of texting, suitors used to wait three days to call, I guess in order to not seem too desperate? Now you can text the same night the date ends or the next day, saying how you enjoyed yourself, thanking them for a fun evening, and hoping to see them again. It’s no longer seen as desperate, in fact if you wait longer than the next day they’re more likely to think you’re not interested and probably move on.
I wrote about when the right time for a first kiss is but with the way modern dating is going now, people are doing a lot more than just kissing on the first date. Some people are just looking for something casual and there are plenty of long-term couples that say they started out just hooking up so there’s really no rule now on how soon is too soon. As long as you’re both being honest about what you’re looking for, then go all the way on the first day and have fun!
The etiquette of a man always paying for dates started long ago when it made much more sense in society. Society has been changing though with more women in the workforce and the wage gap closing in. The bill doesn’t always have to fall on the man now, plenty of couples go dutchor figure out other ways to share equal weight of the finances.
Let me know of some more modern dating rules you follow in the comments!
I told someone that I was hoping that she lives alone.
I totally agree on how things have changed over the years. I for one, still enjoy buying dinner, it is not that I am to prove that I can, it just feels right. I also still wait a few days for a follow up call or text, unless there was something that felt like lightning struck. Alas, that has yet to be the case, but the romantic in me can hold out hope right.
I also felt that talking about past relationships was something that was saved for later. It isn’t that I am out to hide things, lord knows I am an open book if asked. This just seems like a more subtle subject that is best explored when you know someone a little bit better.
Good luck and happy hunting!
Okay… I’ll say it… I have a serious question.
Where do people learn these rules? I had never heard of the three-days rule until I was in my mid-30s, and the only thing resembling rules that I ever learned were radically different from the rules that everyone I knew played by, which no one ever taught me. Nor did any of them explain where they learned these rules.
I still maintain the standard that a man pays on the first date. In online dating I’ve never had a man not offer to pay that first time. Beyond that we negotiate. The only time I’ve picked up a check or gone dutch is when I was not interested in seeng him again.