Your Name

Keep me close to you

even when you can not be near my heart bursts for you like a

volcano. Hot lava coursing through my veins, the love

I have for you burns and grows

nuzzling deep within my chest every time I hear your name.

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Follow Friday!

I’ve been getting some new readers lately and I wanted to give everyone a chance to network so feel free to comment your social media pages!

I’ve also been wondering if I should make an Instagram for the blog/poetry, do most of you have separate instagrams?

Thanks for all the support, this blogging community is amazing!

Happy Friday!

Dead Branches

These thoughts rotting inside my head are not my own

I know that and yet I cannot stop thinking them.

I’m sorry it’s not just the two of us in this relationship.

Thank you for being patient and kind

the gentle hand to soothe my worries away.

Even as I sway, I always stay rooted in you.

And I will cut the dead branches that weigh us down.

What’s Better the Spark of New Love or the Slow Burn of an Old One?

As I’ve been on the dating scene for a few years, I’m inclined to think I know a thing or two about short term relationships. But seeing as my current relationship is my longest, I needed to call on some friends who have been in multi-year long relationships to get some true insights on that slow burn. And here’s what I learned:

If you’ve been together for multiple years you’ve probably experienced some major life events from birthdays to funerals and new chapters of your life such as graduations and job changes. We change and grow over the years and it’s important the relationship grows as well. You go through struggles and celebrations together strengthening your bond.

Common issues in short term relationships like self doubt and self consciousness fade out. All shared experiences and trust over the years have made jealousy a thing of the past. Any girl can go up to your man, you’re confident in your relationship and you know she’s just wasting her time. Your man loves every weird inch of you, and trust me, by now he has seen it all! There’s no hiding anymore, he’s experienced every one of your odd behaves and they didn’t scare him off! You’re more relaxed and secure in your long term relationship now.

Being committed to someone for multiple years gives you faith in love and hope in the future. Being able to depend on someone for anything that life throws at you makes you confident in yourself that you can handle all of life’s ups and down.

I, personally, have never been able to date someone if I didn’t see a future with them. So being with someone for many years makes it more certain that they could be a life long partner. Life doesn’t really give you a lot of guarantees but knowing that you’ll always have this person beside you could ease some stress. Making future plans with this person could be exciting to think about and plan for.

This leads us right into cons of long term dating though since having to factor someone else into your future means less freedom. You can’t just take that job a few states over, you have your significant other and their career to consider as well. You can’t just buy that new car if you wanted, you have to talk to your significant other about future housing and other expenses. You’re not just looking after yourself now.

The other side of the coin of having someone there for you always, means that you can become dependent on them. All that confidence you had suddenly evaporates when you have to do something by yourself. For example, I have social anxiety and get very anxious having to shop for groceries. I’ve now gone to the grocery store with my boyfriend a few times and that anxiety has really receded (granted probably because my focus is now concentrating on not yelling at my boyfriend for walking too slow but that’s besides the point). Now if I go to the grocery store by myself will I be pushed right back into that same anxiety or will the positive shopping experiences healed that issue for me? Will I be dependent to only go shopping with my boyfriend?
I’ve heard from lots of long term couples that they don’t think they could handle modern dating now. Dating apps seem shallow and hopeless and finding a new partner would be a difficult journey. This could make someone feel trapped in their long term relationship, like they’ll never find someone else to love them as much again.

They have forgotten that the beginning of every relationship is new and exciting! You’re thinking of all the endless possibilities and early love gives you hope for the future. The beginning is still fun and light. There’s no need to dive right off the deep end into tough situations and deep insecurities. For now you’re both showing your best selves and seeing if it’s worth the risk to be vulnerable and show the rough sides too.

In the beginning, every new conversation, date, and touch gives you butterflies. And you still get to keep your freedom too as you two dance around each other, give one another space and not trying to seem too desperate for the next date.

On the other hand, the dating world creates a revolving door of people in your life and the lack of stability and support can make a person feel lonely. This could also make you feel hopeless that love will never work out for you. You begin to think something is wrong with you, afraid to show your true self because you’re not sure what might makes them leave. You meet new people that you have fun with but you haven’t met the person you can be sad with.

Sure, a new spark will catch your eye and make you wonder, but it’s the slow burn that will keep you warm through a cold, dark night.

Forest Fire

You talk about her and it lights a forest fire of destruction in my heart

my immediate reaction is to mention him so you might feel a lick of the pain I’m in.

It doesn’t make it any better when you speak ill of her

with so much emotion in your voice, i can still feel her claws deep in you

Am I that deep in you yet?

Will you ever be able to forget me?

Can I replace her in your heart?

I’m Selfish

I swear I am all you’ll ever need

You’ll never think of another woman again

Your thoughts will be consumed with your desire for me.

All day long you’ll be thinking of everything you want to tell me

And how it would be better if I was there with you.

There will never be another love like mine

Our lives were meant to align.

I’m selfish, I never want to share you with anyone else.

You’re all mine

That’s a tie you have to sever, I’m keeping you forever.

Give me all of you because you have all of me

What’s it like Blogging about a Current Relationship You’re in?

Some people might think it’s kinda weird to tell a bunch of strangers your inner thoughts on such an intimate relationship. Others might be more open minded. I think in a lot of ways blogging helps my relationship. I’m able to sort out feelings, become self aware as I continue to reflect, and I think it helps keep the relationship honest.

What I mean by keeping the relationship honest is that we can’t really sweep issues under the rug when I’m analyzing them, debating various outcomes, and asking for advice on here. Boyfriend then, of course, reads these articles and depending on the situation perhaps learns where I’m coming from and any hidden anxieties that are contributing to an issue.

I may also be able to work out some personal hang ups by writing them out and saving us from a future disagreement. It’s important to be self aware and know what topics you’re sensitive about. I might be able to discover the true reason why I’m upset about something whether it’s because I was hurt before in a similar way or I was just deflecting  because I didn’t want to face the true issue (i.e. being mad at your girlfriend for always being late but you’re actually upset that she doesn’t value your time/effort).

It allows him insights he might normally not find in positive situations as well. It allows me to express my appreciation for him since I usually have a hard time verbalizing my thoughts. (I think I get romantic brownie points but let’s be honest, after the 30th poem I think the shine wears off) He may also learn things that help to ease his worries as well, ones that he might have been too nervous to tell me about or just have yet come up in the relationship.

Blogging about my current relationship is kind of like having a free relationship counselor.