I have plenty of messages blowing up my phone
but none from you and you’re the only one on my mind.
Low quality guys sending low quality pictures
I need a true artist like you to show me
some beauty when my eyes are shut too tight.
You came suddenly, unexpectedly but perfectly.
The best moments are the ones that take you by surprise
so I hope you stay and sing through the cracks of my heart
Oh darling, won’t you swing those sweet blue eyes my way?
Oh darling, I see the way you’re smiling at him
and I wonder what I could do to have you look at me that way.
Oh darling, I promise you tears only from too much laughter
and when the pain comes I promise to hold you through it all.
Oh darling, I know he makes you happy
But you could still turn around and give us a chance.
-Oct 2019
I wonder if your sister ever got married.
I wonder what you taste like.
I wonder if your friend likes his job out of state.
I wonder how strong your arms
would feel wrapped around me.
I wonder if you wonder about me.
I wonder if you remember the details of my life
like I do yours.
I wonder how deep your love
could fill my chest.
I wish I didn’t have to wonder at all.
-Sept 2019
We’re casual and easy
Like Sleeping in on a cool Fall Sunday
No need to text all day long
but we enjoy the company
when we’re together.
No need to complicate us with games.
Keep it as simple as you and me tonight.
-Nov 2019
Unfortunately, not every documentary you watch will be a good one. Or sometimes you’ll watch a movie that you kind of enjoyed but you know you wouldn’t recommend anyone else to watch it (for me that Christmas lifetime movies hahah). These four documentaries don’t have any common themes aside from the fact that I don’t think you should watch them lol.
This is a woman in her mid 30s with 6 other personalities that range from about the age of 5 to 15. This documentary didn’t really end up answering any of the questions it proposed throughout the segment. That doesn’t really make for a good documentary… It was interesting hearing from the main woman about the debate of if she would really want to be cured and lose her other personalities.
It also brought in the question if multiple personality disorder is even a real disease or if she’s just faking it. Although Helen has 6 personalities to keep her company in her head, she sadly lives a rather only life. She also unfortunately struggles with two personalities that are self destructive to her such as self harm and alcoholism. Overall, interesting topic but the story doesn’t really end up anywhere.
I got bored with this one and stopped. Eventually started again to watch some more but still have not finished. The documentary follows the relationship between the filmmaker and her mother. It’s been a rough relationship since childhood and decades later Gayle is still battling against her disapproving mother. Her brothers make it so obvious how manipulative and emotionally abuse their mother was to Gayle, it’s difficult to hear about a mother being a bully to her own daughter.
The two had just started therapy together when I stopped watching for a second time. Even in her old age, the mother is completely ignorant to how she mistreated her daughter. Young ladies have it hard enough measuring up to society’s ideals without their mother pushing for them to get a nose job. It’s not worth the watch. And of course, I have not finished the film but from my understanding its more so the daughter accepting the mother’s hard ways rather than the mother becoming kind and compassionate, but I could be wrong.
And just for the little background I did learn about why the mother might treat her daughter like this – The mother saw her husband grow up being the forgotten child compared to his sisters so the mother vowed she would never let her sons feel left out or wouldn’t put her daughter on a pedestal. She unfortunately, took that to the extremely and consistently belittled her daughter instead.
This documentary follows the memories of a family that lived in a Cult for many years. The first interesting thing about this cult was that the leader wasn’t with the rest of the cult, he just sent letters from a secret location. It’s interesting that the leader had such a presence without even being present. It focused heavily on child abuse and sexual abuse with interviews from the one family that has since left the cult. The cult even featured promotional videos that were essentially children undressing to song.
The other focus was on the sexual activities the wives were essentially forced to do such as sleeping with other husbands and members of the cult as well as sleeping with men in the outside community in order to entice them to join the cult (flirty fishing). It’s a sad documentary as the grown children recount their stories of sexual harassment and rape and dealing with the complicated resentment they have with their mother for putting them in such an environment. It’s disturbing and heartbreaking, and not at the top of my list of recommendations.
This documentary takes place at a hospice- like center. You encounter a handful of people as they face the last few weeks or months of their lives. Death is hard to face but a documentary like this talking about death and the options that come with hospice care is helpful in opening up the conversation. You see patients dealing with their fate differently and the hardships families face as well.
The documentary spent a lot of time on Mitra’s family, a young mother with an end of life cancer diagnosis, weak and rarely lucid. The parents struggled to face that their daughter would not be getting any better and also struggled to decide if they could allow their daughter’s body to help doctors and scientists after death. A documentary shot in hospital setting was very honest about keeping the patients human. The short documentary sits heavy on the soul and I don’t see a reason any of you readers should sit through that.
Life didn’t turn out the way I planned
But because of you is how I still stand
you’re the solid ground beneath my feet
you stand strong even when I accept defeat
when my heart grew too tired
You were the beauty that kept me inspired
It felt like mountains I was trying to get through
I would have given up by now if it wasn’t for you
-2011
I know you’re hurting now, love.
You’ve been the sole warrior
Fighting against an army of thousands.
We’re here beside you
And we will carry you
When it is time.
You’ve given it your all
Just let us know, darling
When you’re ready to rest your head.
She’s as beautiful as marble now
and just as cold.
She used to be soft and fragile
giving out pieces of her heart
to anyone who needed it more than she.
They were starving with greed
and she was just so sweet.
She never got any love back
just broken promises and busted lips.
I think she knew what she was doing when she gave that last piece away.
She wanted to stop the hurting
and become as strong as stone.
Her bleeding heart no longer beats
and she’ll cut you down if you ever mourn
that innocent girl she used to be.
-June 2017
And I wonder if you think about me
if you wrote about me
if you’ve moved on
I wonder what you told your sister about us
and what she thinks about me now that its over
You have a beautiful mind
and I saw it again today.
Would you have been too much for me if you had let us have a real chance?
Or would you have lifted me into the light?
You sparked something deep and vulnerable in me
and I don’t think I ever got the chance to thank you for that.
I don’t always understand your songs
but would you let me listen one more time?
Record one more just for me
-April 2017
Debatably Dateable 