Will the waves push you back to me
or is the current too strong now?
I cut the rope and you swam around other fish
before I scooped you back up in my net again.
It took us awhile to put all the other fish back in the ocean.
Are you here to sail the seas with me or
too afraid I might ask you to walk the plank again?
– May 2019
It’s time to see how I did on my list of 25 before 25.
1. Go on a caribbean trip
Totally lied lol, we ended up using that money to go to California instead!
2. Figure out how all this self hosting works (how can I find my view sessions?! lol)
It’s actually going well!! Last month, I reached my highest monthly view yet! I also became a member of a few affiliation programs and made $12 from Google Adsense, so slowly but surely I’m figuring it all out!
3. Breakeven on my self hosting investment
One of the things I often discredit is that my books are actually products so the money I make there could be used to counter my self hosting costs. First year, I did not make money, but maybe I’ll breakeven this second year.
4. Sell 100 copies of my debut poetry collection Cracked Open in its first 6 months
Cracked Open is a year old and I am definitely not near 100 sold copies but I do have high hopes that Where I Ache will do much better than my first collection. Fingers crossed!!!
5. Go hiking regularly in the warm weather
I’m hopeful I can get back into hiking this Spring/Summer!
6. Advance my career
I’m actually switching career paths! I’m very excited to be heading in a new, happier direction.
7. Write 125 new poems
In addition to this 50, I also wrote over 50 exclusively for Where I Ache! But I fell short of 125 by a few since I’ve been using my older poems on the blog.
8. Create some healthy eating habits
I don’t have the self discipline for this… lol
9. Be more active with my dog
Had to slow down with the winter weather but I’m planning some doggie park adventures!
10. Go kayaking
I think I’ll try something else this summer, leave some suggestions in the comments!
11. Go to a concert
I went to a Post Malone concert on New Year’s Eve with my boyfriend!!
12. Publish 200 new posts
Still fell short but I actually have switched my posts from 10 times a month to 12-13 monthly so I am posting more content!
13. Dye my hair a new color
Check out my different hair colors through the years!
14. Start organizing for my next poetry collection
WHERE I ACHE COMING OUT JUNE 10TH!!!!!! Guys I am soooo excited!! I’m so happy that this collection is longer than the first and features a lot more diverse content. I’m also so so happy that I got to work with my boyfriend for this project!! Grab your copy of Where I Ache to see his amazing illustrations!!!
15. Surprise my boyfriend (no more details incase he reads this)
This reminds me that I need to do something nice for my boyfriend! He puts up with a lot from me haha
16. Grow Blog and Twitter following immensely (hard to put a number on it right now)
From April 2018 to this April my blog gained 1,810 followers
From April 2018 to this April my twitter gained 2,595 followers
17. Get another tattoo
Since I’m changing career paths I need to be more financially conscious so this is on hold for a while.
18. Attend a sporting event
I also saw a college basketball game!
19. Have half of the finances needed to buy a house
Starting on a new career path is going to push me back a few years unfortunately.
20. Visit another state
Went to California with my boyfriend over the winter!!
21. Visit 20 new places
I think I’ve reached this one!
22. Go to the golf range more often
I’m not as interested in this goal this spring.
23. Go on a boat ride
24. Get stronger so I can start seeing my chiropractor less
I haven’t seen my chiropractor at all this year and I’ve only had a few shoulder flare ups!
25. Have some adventures this summer – fun and carefree!
Summer is around the corner yet again, I can’t wait to get a tan and spend time with my family!! Lots of celebrations coming!
For so many years I’ve felt like I was hard to love
But darling, you make it look so easy.
You do so much for me without batting an eye
And I wonder if I would be able to do the same.
You walk through Hell like it’s the route
to take home every night.
-Sept 2018 +
I fall apart as soon as you leave
I need you so much right now
And you let me fall into you with open arms.
You make it so much easier to bear this weight.
You put me back together again.
-September 2018 +
I fall apart without you.
I won’t let pride get in the way
Of saying I need you tonight.
I’m drowning in myself
And I need you to shine a light
In these deep sea waters.
I’m scared of what I can’t see in this darkness.
-September 2018+
It’s six months till I’ll be 25 so I figured I’d check in on my list of 25 before 25.
1. Go on a caribbean trip
2. Figure out how all this self hosting works (how can I find my view sessions?! lol)
3. Breakeven on my self hosting investment
4. Sell 100 copies of my debut poetry collection Cracked Open in its first 6 months
5. Go hiking regularly in the warm weather
6. Advance my career
7. Write 125 new poems
8. Create some healthy eating habits
9. Be more active with my dog
10. Go kayaking
11. Go to a concert
12. Publish 200 new posts
13. Dye my hair a new color
14. Start organizing for my next poetry collection
15. Surprise my boyfriend (no more details incase he reads this)
16. Grow Blog and Twitter following immensely (hard to put a number on it right now)
17. Get another tattoo
18. Attend a sporting event
19. Have half of the finances needed to buy a house
20. Visit another state
21. Visit 20 new places
22. Go to the golf range more often
23. Go on a boat ride
24. Get stronger so I can start seeing my chiropractor less
25. Have some adventures this summer – fun and carefree!
So I’ve got 10 done already and 4 that I didn’t get the chance to. I think I’ll get another 5 in the next few months but the rest we’ll just have to wait and see.
I have a hard time taking ownership of my love
Always leaving off the “I”s of my “Love You”s.
I hope I’m saying enough
To show you my love and appreciation
With my lips and fingertips.
My legs and heart.
Soul and tongue.
Mind and eyes.
With every part of me.
-September 2018+
I’m not the man I used to be
My heart tumbled out my mouth
When I gave you my first and only “I love you”.
Never felt so compelled to have someone be mine
You’re the magic i didn’t know I needed in my life.
I’ve never been in love like this before
And I won’t be the fool to ever lose you
The past has come and gone,
my future stands right before me
-May 2018
I can’t believe
That the months have gone by
And the passion still rages
Like our first week together.
The electric jitters have been replaced
With knowing stares and secret smiles.
Second date or 522nd your hand
still falls on my lap in the car.
So many firsts have been shared
But my love for you still feels brand new
Still sad when I leave your place
Because I can never spend enough time with you
I love you’s used to get stuck in the back of my throat
Now they’re tumbling out of my mouth like salmon swimming upstream.
I thought these feelings might have settled by now
But this beating in my chest is and always will be for you.
-June
(+)
Lately I’ve been saying I’m addicted to you
But I’m not sure that’s true
Yes i love spending my time with you
And i can’t go an hour without you walking across the forefront of my mind
So casual and cool like it’s right where you belong.
Yes, My hands always find your warm skin whenever you’re nearby.
We fit together like the perfect two.
And my heart misses its home a few hours after we part.
So now you can see I’m obviously not addicted to you.
I trace love letters on your skin
My fingertips softly rake your back
My tongue paints swirls of colors on your neck
My lips ink your mouth till they’re stained blue
Like freckles coating your skin, there’s a map of my love for you
I wonder if the neighbors can hear our love story
-June
(+)
I try to talk myself down
Tell myself there’s no need to rush
You’ll be beside me again soon
But I wish I could come home to you
Cuddle into your chest every night
And wake up to the sweet sound
Of my name on your lips.
-May 2018
Debatably Dateable 