You’ve only just gone
but I miss you already.
I told you to Take care and be good
I know I can’t hold you now, but just know I wish I could.
You’ve only just gone
but I miss you already.
I told you to Take care and be good
I know I can’t hold you now, but just know I wish I could.
I just wanted to recap all the documentary recommendation articles in case you missed any! I think the ones listed below are the most interesting documentaries of each series but you should definitely click on series 5 because there were many many good documentaries in the crime category!
Devil dives into DuPont’s responsibility in the health risks of their teflon products. The doc touches on specific people affected and their stories as well as widening the scope to see how far it’s deadly consequences have reached. It’s terrifying and tragic how harmful and deadly telfon is and how companies like DuPont would rather death over profit loss.
Behind Closed Doors is a british film following the story of 3 women fighting domestic violence. It is incredible interesting to see all the complicated emotions that they go through and just how deep these wounds go. From an outside perspective, domestic abuse seems so straightforward – if they hit you, you leave. But love is irrational and there is no reasoning with that primitive emotion. These women are all incredibly strong for fighting these men through the court system and for battling with their own complex feelings daily.
This documentary follows the memories of a family that lived in a Cult for many years. The first interesting thing about this cult was that the leader wasn’t with the rest of the cult, he just sent letters from a secret location. It’s interesting that the leader had such a presence without even being present. It focused heavily on child abuse and sexual abuse with interviews from the one family that has since left the cult. The cult even featured promotional videos that were essentially children undressing to song.
The other focus was on the sexual activities the wives were essentially forced to do such as sleeping with other husbands and members of the cult as well as sleeping with men in the outside community in order to entice them to join the cult (flirty fishing). It’s a sad documentary as the grown children recount their stories of sexual harassment and rape and dealing with the complicated resentment they have with their mother for putting them in such an environment. It’s disturbing and heartbreaking, and not at the top of my list of recommendations.
There are 6 episodes in this docuseries following a different dog(s) in each episode. I only watched the first two and the fifth episode because those stories seemed most interesting to me. The first was a young teen girl still struggling through getting a hold on her epilepsy. She will be receiving a service dog who will help to recognize when she’s about to go into a seizure and help bring her out of it. You learn a bit more about service dogs, different jobs they can do, and the initial training they have with their new owner. The episode unfortunately ends shortly after the dog goes home with the family so you don’t know exactly how it all turns out.
The second episode is a dog named Zeus who is stuck in Syria while his owner was able to escape on a work visa to Germany (or somewhere). Zeus has been staying with a friend who is also in hiding and it’s not safe for any of them in that warzone. Zeus traveling through borders by car and plane. There are a few hurdles along the way and you’re not sure if Zeus will be reunited with his owner. Everyone loves Zeus and you feel for the friends that are now losing that piece of light in that terrifying war.
The fifth episode is about Territorio De Zaguates in Costa Rico. It’s very possible you’ve heard about it as it’s a bit of a tourist attraction that you can run with hundreds of dogs on the multi acre shelter. This shelter never turns away a dog and it warms your heart to see them get taken off the streets. As the episode unfolds though, you being to question if they’re taking on more dogs than they can handle. Food, money, water, shelter, staff, and vet visits is a lot for any shelter to take on but at this size you wonder if more is always better.
This New Zealand crime docuseries is 6 episodes following 6 different cases ranging from murders, juvenile criminals, and family cases. Based on the title you can assume that all criminals telling their story are innocent and have been wrongly convicted. You find out the details of the crime, where things went wrong, and how things were later resolved for the unjustly convicted criminals. After each episode I wanted to go tell my friends and family about this insane, unjust, and true story.
In life, you face a lot of struggle. You might grieve a lost loved one, lose a job, or face a dispute with a friend. Fortunately, you usually have people in your life you can lean on including your partner. Tragedy affects everyone differently so if this is the first time you’re helping your partner through something, you might not know the best way to comfort them.
There can be a lot of thoughts rushing through their head at this time, they may feel that expressing their feelings are a burden for you or they might be so consumed that they haven’t thought of you to lean on. So you let them know you’re there for them offering support in any way they want or need. You’re ready for when they want to talk. You’re a shoulder and open ear.
Some people want to talk out their issues, others prefer to silently work through things on their own. You may think how you’d react during this hard time and may think you know what’s best for your partner. But they may deal with their grief in a different way then you do. Keep an open mind to this and try to not take it personally if they are keep their emotions close to their chest. Don’t project your own ideals onto them and don’t push them for what they’re not ready for.
Writing things down on paper or talking out your concerns is a good healing process for the soul. Sometimes you just need to vent or cry or scream – you just want to be heard. So validate your partner’s feelings. There doesn’t always need to be a solution or plan of action. Be a soundboard as they navigate through this new territory.
Losing a loved one will hit you in new and unsuspecting ways. A tv show, a street sign, a song could all bring memories rushing back even after time has passed. The loss will still ache whether it’s years or months. Anniversaries and special holidays will always be tender for your partner. There is no start and end to this healing process, it will ease both of your minds to accept this. Just because there are tears today does not mean there will be tears tomorrow, so don’t worry or judge when you’re having a hard day. You will always remember them because they are always with you.
June 10th
This collection is broken up into six chapters ranging from themes such as jealousy, depression, grief, and strength. These are delicate subjects to talk about and most people avoid them because of the uncomfortable vulnerability. I’ve always written and shared my poetry with the hope that readers would relate, feel less alone, and more normal.
Sensitive subjects such as depression can really alienate people, make them feel like they’re different or a freak in some way, and like they have to suffer alone. I hope this collection will help those realize that others are going through this too and they don’t have to endure this burden on their own. In similar vein, I hope the topics of insecurity and grief will offer a lifeline to such isolating feelings and thoughts.
I am also very excited to progress as a poet and share a collection that does not solely focus on romantic love. Love collections aren’t highly respected by parts of the writing community so I look forward to sharing this new material and show my depth as a writer. I also believe the topics I’m writing about could use more spotlight in today’s society. Of course, a cornerstone of my poetry is love, so relationships will make their appearance in this collection as well.
Timeline of this collection:
Organizing Poems: September
-deciding which poems go together in a theme. seeing what other themes go together to create different chapters for a collection, working through chapter title names.
Writing new material: September – December
-finding the gaps where more poems are needed to fill a chapter and what chapters are lacking exclusive poems.
Editing: December – January
-arranging poems in an order that will display nicely on book pages, cutting out poems that no longer fit the book’s theme, formatting drawings on a page
Reviewing: January – February
-sending out ARCs to beta readers for review, reviewing potential edits, ordering proofs
Promoting: March – June 10th!!!!
-sending out ARCs to book bloggers and setting blog tour, social media posts, blog articles, book photography, preorders and info links
From organizing my collection, I figured out where the holes in my collection were and what I needed to work on adding. I knew I wanted to build from my first collection so I made sure to add double the amount of exclusive poems from Cracked Open and overall, produce a longer collection.
When publishing my first collection, I realized some errors and included beta readers as part of my process for this collection. Marketing is extremely difficult as an indie author and I will definitely have to dedicate a lot of time and effort on marketing this new collection.
I truly want to thank all of my supporters on here, without you Cracked Open would have never been born and Where I Ache would never have crossed my mine.
Don’t go asking about my dark days.
I’m not that person cloaked in shadows anymore.
Please don’t make me dig up a struggle I have laid to rest.
Don’t go searching for the details, it will only create
a monster that will haunt your dreams.
Some things are better left where they were buried.
The holidays are bright and loud with music and family. For many people, it’s their favorite time of year. In all the celebration we tend to forget those among us who struggle with the holiday season.
The holidays are all about being surrounded by friends, family, and loved ones. Unfortunately this can sometimes backfire into making us feel lonely instead of part of a larger community. For starters, you may have a small family or have special family members missing this year in the holiday festivities. These parties and gatherings put an emphasis on that emptiness. On the other hand, you may have a large family and are far from alone during this time of year. But you may feel disconnected and that amplifies the feeling of loneliness. You’ll be hard on yourself for feeling lonely when you’re not alone.
Focus on those you do feel connected to in your life. Whether its friends instead of blood relatives or a community on the internet that you truly feel a part of, make sure to spend quality time connecting with these important relationships in your life.
During the holiday season, the emphasis on family also puts pressure on you starting your own family which begins by finding a partner. Relatives routinely ask you when you’re going to settle down and find someone nice to bring home and meet the family. You see lots of pictures on social media for friends and family with their significant other and it can make you feel inadequate for not having a partner as well.
Feel free to handle your nosy relatives however you see fit. Just know that there is no need to rush into a relationship that you don’t want or aren’t ready for. That could lead to ending up with someone that isn’t really right for you and wasting time not being truly happy. A partner may not be a part of the future you envision for yourself and that should be respected as well.
The holidays are also at the end of the year when most people reflect on the highs and lows of that year. The New Year is also right around the corner and many people set goals and expectations for themselves to achieve. Every part of life can’t be planned and unfortunately most people find themselves behind on their goals. They’re not where they want to be in life and they’re upset that another year has passed without much improvement.
Goals sometimes have to be adjusted so that they can be realistic and reachable. Some people see this a negative thing but setting a small, reachable goal can produce big results. You’ll feel accomplished for reaching this smaller goal and motivated to continue on instead of defeated by missing your original goal. Life may alter your goals completely and that can be devastating. But this new life path can lead to new goals and new victories.
I don’t normally fall to my knees
But before you, I did
By your bedside, I did
Too late, I did.
I don’t talk to Him anymore
But to you I will
I said my goodbyes and well wishes.
I asked you to look over those surrounding me.
I tried to be brave and selfless,
so I told you not to worry about me.
But to my knees, I fall again.
-September 2018
I’m sorry this is how your life story ends
You cried easily this year
When she showed you her wedding dress you cried
And when i showed you this book, the tears fell again.
The clouds were nice enough to cry the day after you passed.
I wonder if there’s a part of you that’s happy
When you see the wet cheeks of those who love you.
And I wonder if you feel ashamed for feeling that way.
-September 2018
A moment alone and my thoughts lead me straight to you
And my heart breaks over and over again
How can anyone else can handle this pain in their chest?
I want to write about you
But i’ve already cried too much today
I think about you
And it’s like i’m reliving it all over again
Cant even write the word funeral
Without tears falling
I hope you know that I love you
With how much it hurts to write it
And not be able to tell you.
-July 2018
I know you’re hurting now, love.
You’ve been the sole warrior
Fighting against an army of thousands.
We’re here beside you
And we will carry you
When it is time.
You’ve given it your all
Just let us know, darling
When you’re ready to rest your head.