I have to figure out a way to turn things around
But I just can’t find my feet on solid ground
Can you look me in the eye and tell me something true?
Tell me anything to turn my grey skies blue
Turned left when I should have gone right
But I’m on my feet again; I’m still in this fight
I colored outside the lines, missed the warning signs
I said the wrong thing and now the heartache stings
I ran out of ways to make you stay
But tell me you love me anyway
-Nov 2011
Should you date your friend? Or perhaps more accurately, is it worth the risk to date your friend and possibly lose the friendship if it does not work out?
Lots of solid relationships state that an important component is their friendship. Sometimes they start out as friends and some times they don’t, but always they insist that their significant other is their best friend who they tell all their embarrassing stories, hopes, and fears to. So one might think dating a friend would be a great idea because that aspect is already there and has built a strong foundation.
Of course once you cross that threshold from just friends to more than friends, its near impossible to go back. This has got to be the strongest reason people with crushes on their friends give for not pursing it. They don’t want to lose that friendship and closeness. They would rather have them in their life as a friend then risk becoming closer and then ending up with nothing. Sometimes friends don’t want to mess up the group dynamic by dating or sub consequently breaking up.
The thing is if you’ve naturally floated into the territory of daydreaming about one friend in particular then it may be worth digging into. He already knows your interests and dislikes pretty well. You already know about his bad habits and future plans. If you know all this and still can’t stop thinking about him then it may be time to start pushing the friendship boundary and see if he feels the same way about you.
If you don’t try, you’ll always wonder. You may become self conscious or doubt yourself more if you start thinking, well why hasn’t it crossed his mind yet to date me!? Maybe he didn’t think you’d like him back, maybe he has too much on his plate and wouldn’t be able to give you the effort you deserve. All I know is that it’s an unhealthy mental state to be wondering about all the possibilities and insecurities without any sold facts. It will give you a peace of mind to hear his sides of things no matter the outcome.
We are not a love story
and we are not a lesson.
We were just two people wasting time.
Comfortable in the in -between
hiding from our truths.
You didn’t love me
and I didn’t want to love you
AKA, Is it a really dumb idea to get back with an ex?
Did you guys give it a fair shot the first time? Or was it more of a relationship that never reached its potential? If you were legit dating for 4-6 months, I’d say that was a solid try and things weren’t meant to be. Your ex is someone of your past for a reason, if it didn’t work out then, it probably won’t work out now.
Did you just break up last month? The feelings of doubt and loneliness are normal, make a date night with your girlfriends and keep on healing. No matter what, its important to let time do its thing and take a solid break.
It might be important to consider why things ended the first time. Did one of you move away, was he just an asshole and you finally got sick of his shit, or maybe you weren’t ready for things to get so serious and bailed.
Unfortunately, things usually aren’t so black and white. There’s usually a few reasons why things didn’t work out, some making you want to try again and others whispering that you’d be a fool to think he changed.
But if you were unhappy in that relationship, don’t let loneliness and a few bad first dates wear you down. Don’t go back and settle because the first couple of months haven’t been easy. Love doesn’t just get handed to you, you gotta fight for it.
Honestly, people rarely change. They can change, they are capable of it. But the majority stay the same. But I think this lesson is meant to be learned the hard way. The heart is emotional and irrational, no logic nor list of his bad habits will save it.
Heck, maybe you should just take him back for one night, flush him out of your system, and then leave his sorry ass in the morning 😛
If he’s matured, if you’re both looking for the same thing, and are on the same page, then maybe the timing will finally be right for you two.
It’s not that I don’t have anything to write
It’s just that I want to write about you
and you keep me from my muse.
You are much more than a muse
and much more than being anything of mine.
That doesn’t stop me from wanting to run my hands through your soft hair
I go to bed dreaming about that hair.
how soft it is, how long you let it grow,
you stroking it mindlessly while you talk,
me playing with the ends in the car while you drive,
wet and sticky against the nape of your neck with the sheets falling to the floor.
I lose my mind thinking of nothing else but that hair.
-February 2017
I have plenty of messages blowing up my phone
but none from you and you’re the only one on my mind.
Low quality guys sending low quality pictures
I need a true artist like you to show me
some beauty when my eyes are shut too tight.
You came suddenly, unexpectedly but perfectly.
The best moments are the ones that take you by surprise
so I hope you stay and sing through the cracks of my heart
-January 2017
He said “I think you just need fingers
ran through your soul
like you’d be doing to my hair.”
I said, “that’s not fair.
Don’t say something you might not mean
It’s one thing to make me needy between the legs
but even worse to make me needy between the lungs.”
-November 2016
