lessons learned

My Love

I wish my love could heal you baby

take away every hurt

kiss away the pain

silence the worries

I wish my love was enough to save you

I wish my love could protect you from this cruel world

I wish my love could break your every fall

My love for you is so strong

and yet I feel so powerless

-Nov 2017

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Cold Weather

I know we fight

I know we don’t always get it right

I’m sorry I didn’t pick up your calls

It’s just that my mind was going crazy inside these walls

I’ve never had someone mean so much to me

Being this vulnerable can make me a little uneasy

Even if I cry, just know I always want to try

Even in cold weather, I’ll always want to stay together

-Jan 2018

Dear Dateable (Feb) Advice Column

Dear Dateable,

What if I can’t tell if he loves me or not?

DD:I went back and asked if this was a current relationship or a crush because I think the answers would vary a little and I’ve decided to answer it both ways. It may be worthwhile to check out my post on signs he’s into you.

For a crush: There’s a lot of uncertainty for the two of you, so not knowing if he loves you or not is very stressful. Since he is your crush I imagine you’ve been paying a lot of attention to him. Does he make an effort to talk to you, ask you about your days and hobbies? Does he ask if you’ll be at that party this weekend or try to find ways to be around you? If the answer so far has been mostly No then maybe he’s not good at expressing his thoughts verbally and you need to see his actions instead. Does he find ways to be near you? Does he do little things that make your life easier?

If the answer is still No then a lack of maturity could be the issue or sadly, he just might not be that into you (link older article). One last thing to keep in mind though is have you made it obvious to him that you like him? Could he read those questions and mostly answer Yes? Have you been honest and straightforward “I like you, I would like to date you, what do you think?”

I know it’s scary to put yourself out there like that but this not knowing will fill you with doubt and destroy your peace of mind from the inside out so even if it’s not the answer you’re hoping for, it’s better to know for sure than always wonder.

For a relationship: It’s very possible you might have a different love language than your significant other. That’s very common and nothing to fear. The way in which you show love and expect it to be shown back to you might be very different than the way your significant other naturally shows their love for you. For example, you might be vocal about your love, writing love letters, showering them with compliments, and always ending an exchange with ‘I love you’. Your significant other might be quiet or reserved and you may be hurt that they never compliment you or say I Love You first. This is where it’s important to 1. Figure out your love language and your SO’s love language and 2. Directly communicate to your SO that you need to be shown some love in your love language (to continue the example, you might ask them to write you a note of appreciate or love or to make the effort to compliment you more).

It’s important you find out the love language of your SO other because this can help you notice the ways in which they ARE showing their love. For example, they might show love by spending quality time together. No matter how busy their schedule is, they make sure that they are home to spend every dinner with you. And sure, you are capable of walking the dog by yourself, but they walk with you every time for that extra one on one time. This extra effort may have been going by unnoticed to you. You may have even gotten annoyed when they asked you to check your social media apps after dinner but now you’re realized how much they cherish that time of undivided attention and connection.

Aside from realizing all the ways you are being shown love, you can also make the effort to show them love in that same way as well. You’ll feel connected again when you start making this effort along with seeing them make the effort to speak your love language too.

Dead Branches

These thoughts rotting inside my head are not my own

I know that and yet I cannot stop thinking them.

I’m sorry it’s not just the two of us in this relationship.

Thank you for being patient and kind

the gentle hand to soothe my worries away.

Even as I sway, I always stay rooted in you.

And I will cut the dead branches that weigh us down.

Forest Fire

You talk about her and it lights a forest fire of destruction in my heart

my immediate reaction is to mention him so you might feel a lick of the pain I’m in.

It doesn’t make it any better when you speak ill of her

with so much emotion in your voice, i can still feel her claws deep in you

Am I that deep in you yet?

Will you ever be able to forget me?

Can I replace her in your heart?

I’m Selfish

I swear I am all you’ll ever need

You’ll never think of another woman again

Your thoughts will be consumed with your desire for me.

All day long you’ll be thinking of everything you want to tell me

And how it would be better if I was there with you.

There will never be another love like mine

Our lives were meant to align.

I’m selfish, I never want to share you with anyone else.

You’re all mine

That’s a tie you have to sever, I’m keeping you forever.

Give me all of you because you have all of me

Things I Wish I Didn’t Know

I know you love me

You love me more

than you’ve ever loved anyone else

But I know I’m not the first in your arms

And I can hear how she sweet talked you

How the heat of her body warmed your blood

How she sang into your ear like you two were the only ones in the crowd

The roads you took to spend another night beside her

The words you permanently printed into history about her

I know it all because you’ve shown me, told me, hurt me

You don’t even need to say her name anymore and I know

 

I know

 

But do you know how much it messes with me head?

How often moments with you are overridden

My mind replacing me with her

Flashbacks of memories I wasn’t even there for

Please make it stop.