The Storm

The storm is getting bad

but you’re still hanging around.

What do you want from me?

There’s nothing left in me to take.

The wind has knocked down every tree

and the streets are flooded with what we used to be.

What if I can’t tell if he loves me or not?

For a crush:

There’s a lot of uncertainty for the two of you, so not knowing if he loves you or not is very stressful. Since he is your crush I imagine you’ve been paying a lot of attention to him. Does he make an effort to talk to you, ask you about your days and hobbies? Does he ask if you’ll be at that party this weekend or try to find ways to be around you? If the answer so far has been mostly No then maybe he’s not good at expressing his thoughts verbally and you need to see his actions instead. Does he find ways to be near you? Does he do little things that make your life easier? 

If the answer is still No then a lack of maturity could be the issue or sadly, he just might not be that into you (link older article). One last thing to keep in mind though is have you made it obvious to him that you like him? Could he read those questions and mostly answer Yes? Have you been honest and straightforward “I like you, I would like to date you, what do you think?”

I know it’s scary to put yourself out there like that but this not knowing will fill you with doubt and destroy your peace of mind from the inside out so even if it’s not the answer you’re hoping for, it’s better to know for sure than always wonder. 

For a relationship:

It’s very possible you might have a different love language than your significant other. That’s very common and nothing to fear. The way in which you show love and expect it to be shown back to you might be very different than the way your significant other naturally shows their love for you. For example, you might be vocal about your love, writing love letters, showering them with compliments, and always ending an exchange with ‘I love you’. Your significant other might be quiet or reserved and you may be hurt that they never compliment you or say I Love You first. This is where it’s important to 1. Figure out your love language and your SO’s love language and 2. Directly communicate to your SO that you need to be shown some love in your love language (to continue the example, you might ask them to write you a note of appreciate or love or to make the effort to compliment you more). 

It’s important you find out the love language of your SO other because this can help you notice the ways in which they ARE showing their love. For example, they might show love by spending quality time together. No matter how busy their schedule is, they make sure that they are home to spend every dinner with you. And sure, you are capable of walking the dog by yourself, but they walk with you every time for that extra one on one time. This extra effort may have been going by unnoticed to you. You may have even gotten annoyed when they asked you to check your social media apps after dinner but now you’re realized how much they cherish that time of undivided attention and connection. 

Aside from realizing all the ways you are being shown love, you can also make the effort to show them love in that same way as well. You’ll feel connected again when you start making this effort along with seeing them make the effort to speak your love language too.

LOSING SLEEP

Would your mom tell me I deserve better?

Your words are eating at me.

Why didn’t you say those things to me?

How could you live with those secrets 

as I lay next to you in bed?

I hope the guilt keeps you up at night 

Hitting you hard and 

as fast as the changes in the wind.

Weak

I never saw you coming

But boy I sure did have fun loving you

Baby you were my best days

Then again you were also my worst.

I’m thinking about you and how you

Probably aren’t thinking of me

Love, why’d you have to turn your back on me

but if anyone asks I’m doing fine without you,

haven’t thought about you in weeks

Cause though I’ve fallen I’ll never look weak

More like a Prayer

Hey baby, are you listening out there?

I haven’t heard from you in a while

and this is feeling more like a prayer

I haven’t stopped thinking about you

since you first caught my eye

And do you remember the first time

I kissed you cause you were too shy

We lit a flame but baby do you still feel the heat

when you’re so far away?

Town Signs

Oh I wish I could leave you alone

instead of staring at you through my phone.

I drive through your town

Just to feel close to you again.

I wish there was a sign

To know if you’ll ever be mine

Clouded Fantasies

I wear your t shirt to bed.

Let all the memories of you

Fill my head.

I dream up fantasies of what we could be

We’re probably not even right for each other

but aren’t you dying to try?

Don’t you want to see if we can reach the sky?

The Road to You

I’m driving down the road

that would bring me to your house

if I reached the end

But I turn right

like I have the last few months

Wishing I could forget you

and the way to your house.

_Nov 2020 

Happy Memory

Maybe all we’re meant to be 

Is a happy memory

A perfect moment in time

A merry picture to dusk off

when life knocks you to your knees.

It hard to accept it’s all over 

But at least I have 

Your gentle touch

And the smiles you gifted for me

to enchant me in my memories

Hated You

Do you wish I had hated you?

Make it easier so you didn’t have to risk any hurt

No late night phone calls, no deep conversations

where you let down walls and I open up my heart a crack

I wish I had hated you too

and feel nothing as I walk away.

instead you’re charming with your goofy smile.

warm and bright, showing your strength in so much struggle.

The Type of Girl

She’s the type of girl you still think about six months later

after she’s fought for you

after you cancel on her for the fifth time

after you’ve taken her for granted.

when you can’t find anyone else who wants to take care of you

when no one cares to hear about that song you dance to in the car

when you can’t find anyone else to stand up as your advocate as you tear yourself down.

She’s the type of girl you never thought would leave

so you treated her that way and funny enough that’s the reason she left.

And now your sorry ass can’t stop thinking of way to get her back.

The Answer is Simple

You drive my mind crazy with questions about us

Do you like me?

Should we date?

What are we doing?

Am I trying too hard?

Should I let that comment slide?

When are you going to see me again?

Is this love?

No.