I feel.
You think.
I lean closer.
You pull away.
I want more.
You are stuck in the comfort.
I am shoving
You forward.
There will never be an us because
we won’t work.
It will always be a You and an I.
I feel.
You think.
I lean closer.
You pull away.
I want more.
You are stuck in the comfort.
I am shoving
You forward.
There will never be an us because
we won’t work.
It will always be a You and an I.
We are not a love story
and we are not a lesson.
We were just two people wasting time.
Comfortable in the in -between
hiding from our truths.
You didn’t love me
and I didn’t want to love you
Maybe one day I’ll finally get good at getting over you
But until then I’ll have another drink while I listen to another song that reminds me of you
I’ll drive by your house again and read through old phone conversations
Oh cause one day you wont cross my mind
But until then I’m still at this bar, stuck on you
I imagine hearing your name and not giving it a second thought
There will be no floods of memories that have to be fought
No ache in my heart nor tears in my eyes
You’ll be gone and I’ll have moved on
But until then I’m still at this bar, stuck on you.
Demi Lovato’s Cry Baby from 2017 is a song of a girl who is hard to break but her heart breaks eventually. Listen here
NeYo’s Mad from 2008 is a heated argument that would hopefully be resolved before going to bed. Listen here
Alicia Keys‘ Fallin from 2001 is a song of torment from loving someone to not knowing if you can stay when they cause you pain. Listen here
Rihanna’s Love on the Brain from 2016 is a song of fighting for love and suffering through the pain in order to be with someone. Listen here
Beyonce’s Jealous from 2013 is her pain caused by her man’s cheating and going out for a night of revenge. Listen here
Little Big Town’s Girl Crush from 2014 is a clever song of crushing on a girl because she has the man and wanting to be her; replace her. Listen here
Patsy Cline’s She’s Got You from 1962 is a heartbreaker of a song where she has all the material possessions of a lost relationship while he’s found a new relationship. I love Patsy Cline, check out the rest of her work! Listen here
Nelly’s Over and Over featuring Tim McGraw from 2004 replays the ending of a relationship and the jealousy of not having her anymore. Listen here
Do you remember all those words you whispered into my sheets?
Have you found someone new to keep you warm at night
because I miss listening to the sound of you breathing as we sleep
and I just want your hand to find mine in the darkness one more time.
I have a tendency to run from arms that are stretched open
for me. A tendency to think when people take
an interest in me, they only mean to pry me open with an oyster knife and leave
me empty. Your past has taught you that anyone can leave if they want to try.
So you don’t pry and you don’t ask why, but you always stay
I hope it works out for you
And that she’s the love of your life.
But if there’s a chance for me
Just know I’m waiting on your call.
If love falls through
I’ll be there to catch you.
-Nov 2020
I know I won’t ever get to call you home
But can I still come over?
Can we just pretend for the night
that we’re meant to be more
than just lovers?
-Nov 2020
Are you waiting for me
to come back again?
Are you lonely
and dying for my attention?
Let me in and I’ll seduce you again.
-June 2020
I wish we didn’t connect the way we do
It would be so much easier letting you go.
Caring and sweet, we’re good for each other.
But you know I’m not the one for you
and a piece of my heart breaks off in the distance.
-May 2020
Over the past 5 years, I’ve been on tons of first dates. More than any person would ever want to, I’m sure. I kept going on first dates though because I was ‘picky’. I needed a palpable connection and a list of criteria to be met. It was meaningless first date after first date when I finally met my long term boyfriend.
Finally, someone I just connected with. The beginning was easy, I felt alive, and he was good to me. I finally picked the right one! Even his mom was excited about our future!
But time passed and he stopped treating me right and eventually he became my ex. I should have left a lot earlier than I did and now it’s hard to trust myself.
I’m really picky and I still didn’t pick the right guy. How can I trust myself now?
I’m wondering if I should go about picking partners differently now since clearly, I’ve been getting it wrong all these years. I don’t think I’m too picky honestly, but however I am picking must not be working. Do I need to stop putting so much weight on that feeling of connection?
Maybe with the information I knew at the time, I was picking right? And eventually as time goes on, someone who was right for you can stop being right for your future.
We all know love has a way of blinding us so maybe I need friends and family to pick the right match for me. People who know and love me and have my best interests at heart. But we probably all know someone we would have picked differently for and who’s to say that they made the wrong choice?
Maybe with the new lessons I learned from my dating experience, I will pick the right one next time and I can trust myself. I can trust myself by being self aware. By knowing I’m a hopeless romantic and where my weak spots are. By listening to red flags when I first see them and by understanding the type of men I gravitate towards.
You care for me in the way that you can
But you know that your heart won’t go any further.
Your gentle mind feels guilty
for the things it cannot control.
I want to help you through breaking my heart
And in there lies the problem.
-May 2020