love

When it Comes to You

If anyone knew

they would say we’re moving too fast.

But we didn’t ask

and this is just between us.

I’m scared of intimacy but not with you

Call me baby, run your hands through my hair

I want to know what loving you feels like

Tell me your fears and I’ll show you all my scars

I don’t want to hold back when it comes to you

-Aug 2017

 

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Let’s Showcase Your Blog!

Hey fellow bloggers!

I’m interested in reblogging any articles from any blogs that write about dating, poetry, or just some good old fashion life advice!

So feel free to tag me on one of your articles, comment here. or go to my contact page so I know which post you want reblogged! Make sure to mention the phrase “Project LoveFest” !

I’ll be doing this all the way to the New Year !!

Edit 10/16: As of now every Wednesday will be a day dedicated to each blogger who has written in to me via comment or email and it’s in order of first come first serve. If more bloggers contact me then Fridays might also become a dedication day. Thanks everyone for making Project LoveFest a success, spread the love! ❤

I Finally Got a Boyfriend!

So if you read my Liebster Award post back in August, I kind of let it slip that I recently got a new boyfriend!! (which by the way, is such a weird way to say that, it sounds like I just brought one from the store or something…) He’s also Dater #4 ( the good kisser lol) from Back in the Saddle if you read that post and were taking your guesses as to whom I was going to see again.

I’ve got some bad news and good news for all my fellow singletons out there, the good news is you don’t have to have the perfect dating profile, play hard to get, or follow any other dating rule out there because finding a significant other is basically all up to chance and fate. The bad news is all this effort you’ve been putting in to having the dating scene figured out and thinking you’re another step closer to finding your partner is pretty much bologna because finding a significant other is basically all up to chance and fate. I consider all those saying about finding love complete nonsense if I’m being honest.

You’ll find love once you stop looking for it: Lies. I went on 4 dates in the same week, I was 100% looking for love. I have been on the hunt for the past 2.5-3 years now. The only way in which this phrase kinda works in regards to my boyfriend was that I had no expectations for our first date, in fact each of us were considering cancelling on the other!

You won’t find love until you learn to love yourself: Another lie. This one has always bothered me a little bit since I do struggle with self-love and the fact that I wasn’t finding a good match was just cementing the idea that I was unloveable. You’re too close to yourself to see the big picture clearly of who you are as a whole. You nitpick at yourself rather than acknowledging the general idea that you’re a good person that just makes mistakes like every other human.

I do believe in self sabotage though, whether its subconscious or not, I used to pick emotionally unavailable men because I was afraid of showing the real me and getting hurt or abandoned. It also took meeting a good guy to realize how much I was settling because I didn’t realize how much more effort and consideration I deserved from a partner. My boyfriend compliments me all the time my intelligence, my creativity, my body, my nurturing skills, and every other part of me. I know it’s up to me to work on any issues of self-doubt but his support shines the light on parts of me I overlook and often expect more from. I can be a work in progress and be loveable at the same time. I can still love someone else while learning to fully love myself.

Of course, I’m sure there will be someone reading this who had one these clichés work for them or someone they know. The cliché for me and the boyfriend is “Timing is Everything” but I would never give someone the advice of waiting for a guy or periodically checking in on old flames to see if the timing is better now haha. We weren’t waiting around for each other which made the two of us very surprised with what we discovered that first date but that definitely will not be the case for everyone else (FOR THE LOVE OF GOD PLEASE DON’T WAIT AROUND ON A GUY HOPING HE’LL GET HIS ACT TOGETHER OR SUDDENLY FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU) But I think everyone should take each cliché with a grain of salt. You don’t know which one will end up being yours, if any at all.

In the beginning of this article I said finding love is all up to chance… but staying in love is a choice you’ll make over and over again, don’t confuse the two.

Love Translations

Fear never seems to choke your words back down

declarations of yearning and compliments

freely flow from your lips.

I wish I could be as open and raw for you

Instead my lips mumble against your neck

and my smile whispers affections.

I hope as you learn me, I can teach you my secret language.

But more than that, I hope to grow as bold for you as you deserve.

You deserve love, loud and resolute. For you, I will scream in an echoing tunnel.

-Aug 2017

Do Genders Handle Break Ups Differently? (Part 1- Guys Perspective)

The idea for this article came to me after hearing the song “Different for Girls” -Dierks Bentley in which the lyrics talk about how only guys get drunk at a bar looking to take a new girl home or acting tough punching walls and turning into slobs. I wanted to know if the song was right and decided to reach out to two wonderful men in the blogger community for their input on breaks ups!

Tommy says:

“As Neil Sedaka famously sang, breaking up is hard to do. However, I’ve been luckier than most in that regard. For one, I’ve always been the initiator (although the last one was a tie). It’s definitely easier than being on the receiving end. It’s even easier if you’ve never been in love (which I wouldn’t mind finding someday). My relationships have trended on the shorter side; ending a longer one with more emotional investment would undoubtedly be more painful.

But so far I’ve been largely at peace with things after a breakup. After multitudes of rejections, it’s a nice feeling to know that someone was willing to go further and explore things with me – even if it didn’t work out in the end. The hardest part for me is trying to remain friends afterwards. I’ve tried it each time, but don’t think I will in the future. It’s a difficult area to navigate without things getting awkward and uncertain. For me, a clean break with no contact is the way to go, otherwise how can I completely move on?”

And Paul adds:

“Breakups. Well, bloody hell! There are things in my life that have been more difficult and much more important to deal with. This is a fact I’m consciously aware of—and yet, I have always managed to allow breakups to override absolutely everything when they happen.

I’m unfortunate enough to have experienced being broken up with on numerous occasions and, at the time, I thought nothing could possibly feel as bad. That was until I had to end a four-year relationship and I realized how much harder that is than being dumped. Hurting people hurts. Telling somebody they no longer fit your lifestyle… to me, I might as well be driving a knife through their heart and, subsequently, my own. It’s horrible.

Even if the breakup is for the best and you both know it, they’re extremely difficult and they’ll play on your conscience (provided if you’re blessed with a conscience). You’ll question everything. You’ll procrastinate wildly over what your life will lack without your partner in it. You’ll think of all the good things they do and the happy times you had with them. You’ll constantly weigh up the pros and cons; constantly try to talk yourself out of going through with it. It’ll play on your mind day and night.

In conclusion, breakups suck! Unfortunately, sometimes, they’re absolutely necessary…”

Both men seem to agree its easier to be broken up with than having to do the actual breaking up. Paul points out how difficult it is to know you’re hurting someone you spent so many years loving. Tommy agrees to this point, which contradicts the song’s idea that guys can just forget about an ex, just switching off their emotions and finding a new girl to distract them like a flimsy Band-Aid.

Of course, Tommy brings up being ‘at peace’ with most of his shorter relationships and perhaps he would go out on a boy’s night after such a break up. But he’s not drowning in alcohol or being swarmed by women in order to get over or forget these break ups. And Paul certainly not punching walls as the break up debate goes on in his head and things of all the good times with his ex.

Maybe the song got things mixed up and it’s the women who drink their exes away? Check in next week to hear from some WordPress ladies!

(Also the song might not have mentioned being friends with your ex but I did, check it out! )

My First Scar

Maybe I’m so angry at you

because you remind me of him.

And I’m mad at myself for being the fool yet again

for not valuing myself like I deserve.

But it’s easier to blame you than to face myself

I can just leave you instead of fixing me

I was so innocent and open

when his dismissal slashed through me.

Poke the scar just right with your condescending tone

and it still pulses like it’s alive.

-June 2017

Do You Even Know What You Want?

You’ve chosen her

and I can’t blame the heart for what it wants

But is it everything you thought it would be?

Or do you find you thoughts slipping to me?

First love is hard to beat

I don’t wish to be the girl fighting

a one sided battle that can’t be won.

Maybe loving me would have been too easy

What’s the allure in a love that’s given freely?

Is that why you chase after my attention now?

I know you hit me up every night she let’s you down.

-June 2017