lust

I’m only giving the energy that I receive

Since I’m back in the dating game I’ve embraced a new philosophy of only giving out the same energy that I’m receiving. I’m tired of chasing after guys and tired of continuing to talk to guys who aren’t giving me the love and respect I deserve. So if you don’t answer my text for 4 days, guess when you’re getting a text back? In another 4 days. If you don’t like it then change your behavior and I’ll change mine.

 

On the other hand, if you text back promptly and we’re vibing then I’ll do the same. I’ll also give you the courteous of telling you if something comes up and I’ll be unavailable for the next few hours. If you want your time to be respected then you have to give me that same respect.

I’ve wondered if this philosophy is petty but I’ve decided to ignore that inkling. The first reason is, this is about maintaining a power balance, holding suitors responsible for their actions, and teaching them the respect you want and deserve.

I’m not double texting you and coming off as needy.

I’m not getting hung up on you, waiting to have your attention.

I’m not going to brush it off when you cancel on me last minute.

I’m not letting you get away with only texting me on the weekends at midnight.

 

If a guy is sweet and attentive, that’s the guy I want to attract and have him feel the same way he makes me feel. If a guy is emotionally unavailable and playing for my attention then you’ve guessed it, I’m unavailable. I’m unavailable for your games because I’m focusing on the guy who is focusing on me.

 

The second reasons is because I’ve recently heard the term Frustration Attraction. When someone doesn’t text you back, when someone doesn’t give you their time or attention, it gets very frustrating. You start to wonder why, if they’re just busy or if it has something to do with you? Are they not in to you, why not? Did you do something wrong? Now you’re obsessing over it, now you’re trying to prove yourself to him. Now the power balance is off.

 

This is why I suggest matching their energy right off the bat. Don’t let the power become unbalanced and don’t let yourself get obsessed and attached so easily. Don’t start putting your eggs in this guy’s basket when he’s barely even looking your way. I used to brush off and ignore this behavior in the beginning and then weeks later suddenly find myself obsessing over this trash character. We’re not standing for it anymore, ladies. We’re out here matching energies and focusing on our lives until there’s an energy out there that deserves us.

February Playlist – Desire

Valentine’s Day was last week so hopefully these songs were played to set the mood!

 

1.Love Faces – Trey Songz

Released in 2010 in his Passion, Pain, & Pleasure album, Love Faces has passion covered 10 times over. The song sets the scene of a couple getting together that evening, kissing touching and as the title suggests, making love faces. From undressing to messing up the bed sheets, Trey sings about it all!

 

2. Slow Hands – Niall Horan

Niall released this lowkey, soothing jam in 2017. The song starts with a girl wanting to take Niall home and he’s not leaving without her! Her fingertips wander his body and they both want the same thing.

 

3. Must be Doing Something Right – Billy Currington

From Billy Currington’s Doin’ Somthin’ Right album released in 2005. Billy sings about how different nights bring on different moods and it won’t always be the same with your partner. By her smiles and sighs, Billy has gathered he’s on the right path to pleasing her. He’s focused on making his partner happy, who doesn’t want that?

 

4. Close the Door  – Teddy Pendergrass

I am bringing you all way back into classic soul with this 1978 hit! This song is by Teddy Pendergrass from his Life is a Song Worth Singing album. It’s the end of a long day when a couple is finally coming together. They want to cater to each other, show each other how much they love each other, and enjoy the night together. 

 

5. Like a Wrecking Ball – Eric Church

This song is from Eric Church’s The Outsiders album in 2014. Eric sings of finally getting home after being away for a while on tour. He wonders how well the house will hold up when they’re finally together again. There’s a hunger and an uncontrollable need displayed in this song; they’ll be in each other’s arms as soon as he’s through the front door. 

 

6. Want to Want Me – Jason Derulo

This song is titled after Jason Derulo’s 2015 album. The song starts with Jason excited and rushing to get to this girl. He’s willing to put in the work for this girl to want him like he wants her. If a girl is interested, she’ll definitely enjoy the effort and motivation a guy is willing to put in.