mental health

How to Become Heartless

She’s as beautiful as marble now

and just as cold.

She used to be soft and fragile

giving out pieces of her heart

to anyone who needed it more than she.

They were starving with greed

and she was just so sweet.

She never got any love back

just broken promises and busted lips.

I think she knew what she was doing when she gave that last piece away.

She wanted to stop the hurting

and become as strong as stone.

Her bleeding heart no longer beats

and she’ll cut you down if you ever mourn

that innocent girl she used to be.

-June 2017

Hated You

Do you wish I had hated you?

Make it easier so you didn’t have to risk any hurt

No late night phone calls, no deep conversations

where you let down walls and I open up my heart a crack

I wish I had hated you too

and feel nothing as I walk away.

instead you’re charming with your goofy smile.

warm and bright, showing your strength in so much struggle.

 

Smoke, Pills, and Alcohol

Always told you can never do anything right

so you smoke until everything feels light.

You self sabotage with pills and alcohol

afraid you’ll prove him right and fall.

 

Forgetting everything else in that brilliant mind

because his hatred has made you go blind.

You self medicate with pills and alcohol

numbing the pain so you can finally sleep instead of bawl.

scared if you see your dad, you’ll lose control and brawl.

 

-November 2016

Photo Credit

Do(n’t) Know

Everyone tells me I should walk away

says you’ve got too much going on to handle.

I don’t know why that doesn’t send me running

but I do know I have a heart big enough to hold you inside.

And I don’t know why it hurts this much to have you pushing

me away since I still don’t really know you

but I do know it hurts seeing you suffer under all this heavy weight.

I’ll hold your hand through it if you commit to bettering yourself.

 

-November 2016

Photo Credit

 

 

I’d be a Really Good Girlfriend

In honor of Valentine’s Day tomorrow, I want to talk about how great of a girlfriend I would be.

That sounds soo conceited and I feel insanely weird for making this post but if I have to embarrass myself just for one person to have a good take away from this article then I’ll do it. And its good to be nice to yourself sometimes. So for making such a statement perhaps you’re wondering how her highness has come to this conclusion?

I’m considerate. I let you know when I’m busy so you’re not left hanging. A simple “busy now, text you when I can” message can keep a person from going crazy. I don’t like playing games. I wont wait 40 minutes to text you back just because you took 20. If that type of forwardness makes you uncomfortable then you’re not the guy for me. I don’t want you to go out of your way for me, I try to plan dates that are near both of us and I don’t take it for granted that you might pay for the date.

I can give you space and encourage you to be your own person. It’s a bit mesmerizing for me when someone talks about things they’re passionate about. Their eyes smile, you know their heart is happy and I encourage them to explore that happiness. We don’t need to be together always, you are you and I am me. Your differences are new and exciting to me, so let’s celebrate them.

I’m open minded and understanding, which makes me supportive. If there’s anything I learned about life so far, it’s that people are complicated. Life is hard and you don’t always get it right. You don’t have to be perfect, in fact, I hope you’re not. I try not to judge difficult moments in your life and I’m very appreciative when you trust me enough to share those darker times.

I’ll be a great girlfriend because I loved the wrong ones so well. I have a big heart and if you take the time to climb over these guarding walls, you’d see there’s this big, empty room with your name on the front door calling you home. If I could try so hard to make it work with the guy who didn’t treat me well enough then imagine how well it could work when you are treating me right.

Now, I need you all to repeat after me and say “I’d be a really good girlfriend/boyfriend/ significant other/caring partner/friend.” You listen well or you know how to take action. You can always lighten the mood or you value loyalty. Don’t doubt yourself, don’t make yourself small or apologetic, instead say you’re good enough and actually believe it for once.

You are a good person, a good friend, and you are important to those around you. Tomorrow doesn’t change any of that.

Please write in the comments and tell me a few of your good qualities!

Hear No Evil, See No Evil, Speak No Evil

You’re scared of good things happening

because they always get ripped from you

and you have a devil in your ear telling you

you don’t deserve it. Remind me to kiss the woman

who brought you into this world with deaf ears.

 

The lack of security in your heart

keeps your mind on guard for the graveyard shift.

You’ve seen an unkind world close up, right in your own kitchen.

But even the most beautiful flowers are planted in dark soil

so please close your eyes and sleep tonight.

 

There are millions of soldiers who have lost your battle

and still you stand, chest cracked open and bleeding.

You raise your voice for the ones fallen before you

combating the Demons screaming for your surrender.

You silence them with your strength, even with wounds still tender.

 

-November 2016

Photo Credit

 

 

Live

You’ve only just gone

but I miss you already.

I told you to Take care and be good

I know I can’t hold you now, but just know I wish I could.

 

I know you’ll make it through

and it won’t always be this heavy.

You never deserved this pain

but it will make you the strongest man one day.

You have so much good to still give

so come on baby, just live.

 

-November 2016

Photo Credit