music

Favorites Recap

Quarterly favorites review, June Issue!

 

Favorite show: I’ve been watching The Guardian on Hulu which originally ran from 2001 to 2004. It’s about a corporate lawyer that ends up having to perform community serve at a children’s legal services office. I’m just finishing season 1 now and it’s been good!  

 

Favorite tweet: My Twitter page

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Favorite blog post: Where I Ache is officially released!!! Get your copy here!!

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Favorite phase /word to say: “what is happening “ Brooklyn 99, love this show!

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Favorite thing you did: My sister’s wedding!!!!

 

Favorite artist: I’ve been loving Morgan Wallen’s Whiskey Glasses

Youtube

 

Favorite Poem: My Best Friend here, another oldie but goodie.

 

My Greatest Love Song

I know you worry about your insecurities

and your worrying makes you worry

but darling that whirlpool will drown you if you let it.

So let me tell you how the currents of my feelings for you

have never been this strong for anyone else.

You bring new feeling and meaning to my life

and all I want to do is see you happy.

That wide smile laugh is my new favorite sound

I’ll remember it like a needle always finds a groove

and I’ll be singing I Love You over and over again

until the currents of your mind settle down.

Untrusting Monsters

Insecurity and doubt are monsters

that live in my head.

I introduced you to them last night in bed

but I’m sure I’m not the first girl of yours to do that.

Are there any alarms going off inside your head

that think I’m just a different brand of crazy?

An apology scraps the inside of my mouth

but the monsters push another imaginary issue forward.

My naive heart has been betrayed and lied to

and as a last line of defense, I will accuse you of doing the same.

It seems neither of us can escape our pasts

I must trust you to not slice open

this vulnerable heart if we’re going to last.

-Sept 2017

Writer in the Dark

Lorde has finally blessed us with a second album and it concretes the fact that she is a lyrical genius! As a poet myself, I could fawn over her lyrics forever, dissecting lines 5 different ways, each one so beautiful and smart. A song that stood out to me though was Writer in the Dark.

“Bet you rue the day you kissed a writer in the dark”

Writing about my exes as I do on this blog made this message very relatable for me. There are many moments when I battle with my guilt of writing about them. Do I really have to say it like that? Should I not have included when he did this? How would I feel if someone wrote this about me? Will they never want to talk to me again if they read this?

“I’ll love you ’til my breathing stops
I’ll love you ’til you call the cops on me”

I feel deeply, putting my heart and efforts into every experience. I love love, it’s something I desire and have always daydreamed about. So I dwell on my past relationship experiences because maybe if I examine them close enough I will find the hidden map to true love. I haven’t experienced it yet but this is the closest I’ve gotten so far so these are important to me.

“Now she’s gonna play and sing and lock you in her heart”

The relationship is over but memories still play in my mind and I like to write about my theories and emotions.  I enjoy writing, creating a message, and having an audience feel and relate to an emotion. When I write, it’s my opinion, my perspective, how I hurt and feel. But it’s completely subjective, only one side of the story and therefore only half the facts. I think it’s important for an audience to keep that in mind no matter what they’re reading.

I would probably regret this, but I do wish I could read an article an ex wrote about me. I could learn how they viewed the events and what they were feeling. Aside from learning about them, I would hope to also learn something about myself and become more self aware. And maybe I’d feel a bit less guilty once both sides of the story are out.