I don’t know where you go
when you’re away from me.
One minute you’re here
and the next
there’s a mile wide wall between us
built with pebbles and stones
of misplaced anger and insecurity.
I test the wall’s strength with jokes
and try to chip away at the concrete with
sweet words and a reassuring hand.
I take it all so personally
Can’t seem to let the wrong words go
I just want to stay in bed all day
Shut the blinds and close out the world
Call in sick to work
Think about texting my selfish ex.
I’m just having one of those days
where I’m grinding my teeth
just to make it through.
– July 2019
The thoughts that go on inside my mind
and you don’t even bat an eye.
You say they’re not true
but these misguided thoughts
are my reality.
I wonder what my silence whispers to you.
Bright, shining words
tumble off your tongue.
A bold scholar of words
I never saw this drought coming.
It’s the angry, dark words you lock away
and I’m not sure where the key hides.
Scream, fight, yell, I could handle your passion
if you let me fix my wrongdoings.
It’s your silence that will suffocate me
with fearful hands that I’ve hurt you beyond repair.