true love

December and Christmas Playlists

December: Forever Love

Cheryl Lynn and Luther Vandross’ If this World were Mine from 1998 lists all of Mother Nature’s treasures and gifting them to your love. Listen here

Whitney Houston’s I Will Always Love You from 1992 is a song of a Love that will last forever even though the couple does not. Some love never dies. Listen here

Etta James’ At Last from 1960 is a song that holds up to the test of time when loneliness is finally replaced by Love. Listen here

John legend’s All of Me from 2013 displays a realistic love that flourishes even with it’s imperfections. Listen here

Luke Combs’ Forever at Last from is a song where Life can take its toll on you but a deep love will always hold you through. Listen here

Bonus: Christmas Playlist

Elvis Presley’s Blue Christmas from is a song focused on the importance of being with your loved ones for Christmas. It doesn’t matter where you are, but who you’re with. Listen here

Michael Buble’s Holly Jolly Christmas from 2011 is a must have on this Christmas Playlist and you can’t go wrong with any song from his Christmas album. You can’t have Christmas without Michael Buble! Listen here

Mariah Carey’s All I Want for Christmas is You from 1994 might be a song you hate to love but let’s face it, it’s a total bop! She doesn’t want any material gifts, just her lover. Listen here

Husband and Wife duo Elmo and Patsy’s Grandma Got Ran Over by a Reindeer from 1979 is an odd choice I’m sure, but it reminds me of my childhood and Christmas is all things Jolly so it’s making the list. Listen here

Wham!’s Last Christmas from 1986 is a song of trying not to be someone’s fool yet again. Listen here

Wedding Day

Your snoring lulls me to sleep after a hard day

cradling me sweetly in the night.

And your immovable love gives me strength 

like a constant steady flow of a river to my heart.

 

Your laughter breaths life back into me, babe

Fills my lungs so full, I think my feet might leave the ground.

Your tender love wraps around me like armor.

There’s nothing I can’t do with you next to me.

 

You’re such an important part of me

Your love is in the air I breath.

It radiates off the skin I touch.

I feel your love in every kiss

Every touch

Every word.

And I hear it today in, “I do”.

 

-August 22, 2020

Digital Love Language

Some of us may be familiar with the 5 love languages but I thought with this modern dating era, there might be a second layer.

 

Constant Texting

Some people want that constant connection and interaction. They want to talk about their day, about events with friends, and random childhood memories. They want to learn everything about you, every detail and corner of your mind. These couples place high value on long notes detailing how much you love them and being the first thing you think of when you wake up. 

 

Facetime  

You don’t need the constant communication but when you do communicate you want it to have more quality. You want to vent and tell stories to each other with full animation and all the tea. Some couples just feel more connected by being in the same environment together and not necessarily talking. You want to see that smile, hear that laugh, and see their face light up when talking about their day

 

Sending Memes

These individuals may have a hard time expressing how they feel in their own words so they use art and published words to tell someone how they’re feeling. This is an easy, maybe passive way of keeping a connection which can be good for when you have a crush on someone. It also works well in long term relationship as a simple way to show that they’re thinking about you throughout the day. This is a way to make your partner laugh or communicate the type of mood you’re in.

 

Social Media  

They need everyone to know just how much they love you! They’re so proud of all your accomplishments, they’ll have a picture and paragraph for every one. Their social media followers will know of every good deed you’ve done from cooking dinner to trips to the beach. They may also know about every fight or embarrassing act you’ve done as well though. For better or worse, their followers have front row seats to your relationship.

 

Like the Way I Do

Just the other night

You asked me why I was here?

I asked if you wanted me to leave

You couldn’t look me in the eye when you asked next

how I could love someone like you.

Well baby, you have me just a little bit confused

because if you saw yourself like the way I do

then you would have no problem believing me like you should.

 

Truth is my heart soars every time you say I love you

I can’t help but feel weak every time you look at me

Darling, it’s the way our bodies melt into one when you hold me

The passion that always controls me whenever our lips touch.

 

-2010

 

What a Long Term Relationship has Taught Me

Prior to my current relationship I had only ever reached the early stages of dating. It was still a time to look and act your best as you still wanted to impress your date and win them over. As my relationship reaches its first year mark, I reflect back on the changes I’ve noticed when a relationship becomes long term.

People Stay

Since this is my first long term relationship, the biggest lesson has been that people do stay. I’ve never been in a relationship that stayed together after a fight. The first sign of trouble meant it was time to pack your bags. So i’ve wanted to avoid issues out of fear that it would make my boyfriend want to leave or that the fear of getting hurt would make me run away. Now even while in the mix of a disagreement, I’m thinking about the future past the current issue .

Comfort level

First is that you don’t always have to look your best. It’s the no makeup and freshly washed damp hair, it’s the double chin while laying in bed watching t.v., it’s the silent farts that don’t slip out so silent. You can relax and be yourself and also appreciate your partner feeling comfort enough to be vulnerable in the same way.   

Security

Having someone consistently in your life for a few months, you learn to count on them to be there for you. Knowing the fresh puppy love has worn off and that you will have bad days but you are still loved. Everyday won’t be great and you’ll probably ugly cry because you burnt the pancakes but now there’s someone there to help you make the next batch.

Trust

You trust them to show very vulnerable parts of yourself to them and know that they will hold you through the tears. I have also finally learned that issues and disagreements don’t have to be a threat to the relationship. That they are things to work on and grow from and not a reason for leaving.

Communication

You’re probably never communicating enough. So often i make assumptions because I’m afraid i won’t like the actual answer. But my own thoughts and worries hurt just the same and probably make it out to be worse than it is. It’s better to communicate how you’re feeling as soon as possible before your mind makes you crazy. There should even be conversations about how to best communicate. Defining the best time of day when you’re both open minded and phrases that aren’t in an attacking manner will be so helpful in future discussions.

Self Improvement

It’s made me come face to face with my own issues that I had been able to ignore when they weren’t really affecting anyone else. Since all of my dating history is short, failed relationships – I didn’t trust that this relationship would last past a couple of months. After the fourth guy leaves, your self esteem is bound to take a dip no matter who you are. So I had a lack of trust and self esteem and even added on jealousy for good measure. None of these are healthy for a relationship and my boyfriend hadn’t done anything to make me doubt him and that is also unfair. He shouldn’t have to pay for my ex’s mistakes. Over the months, I’ve made sure to communicate with my boyfriend when I’m struggling with one of these issues so he can help me help myself. I’ve also educated myself on ways to deal with these issues in a healthy manner and have enlisted help from others to better myself.

Then to Now

I can’t believe

That the months have gone by

And the passion still rages

Like our first week together.

The electric jitters have been replaced

With knowing stares and secret smiles.

Second date or 522nd your hand

still falls on my lap in the car.

So many firsts have been shared

But my love for you still feels brand new

Still sad when I leave your place

Because I can never spend enough time with you

I love you’s used to get stuck in the back of my throat

Now they’re tumbling out of my mouth like salmon swimming upstream.

I thought these feelings might have settled by now

But this beating in my chest is and always will be for you.

 

-June

(+)

You’re the One

You’re the one I’m thinking of tonight

because I’m feeling good, like I finally got life right

like when the sun is shining and the wind is on your face

but maybe the only thing I got right is you

and that’s enough for me baby.

You’re the one I think of on a rough night

when my chest is heavy and my head don’t feel right

like when you’re lost and afraid in the dark

but the moonlight guides you to the morning horizon.

because I want you and I need you baby

You’re the one

-Nov 2017

Public Love Letter to My Valentine

Last year I wrote “I’d be a really good girlfriend“, and I still stick to the anti Valentines Day mayhem but as it’s my first time being in a relationship I’m making this one exception. You all might have also recently learned, I’m not the romantic one around here so I’m going to write about the things he does that I appreciate!

First off, right from the start I never had to second guess how he felt about me. I had been around the dating app scene for over a year and could never commit to anyone or find anyone willing to commit to me. Boyfriend made sure we were ‘official’ ASAP and I was thrilled. The second way he made me secure in his feelings for me was how verbal he is about them. As he mentions in the Q&A, he said I love you first to me.

He’s a romantic, leaving notes in my work bag, cooking for me, and gifting me with little things randomly. Like on that weekend trip, we were in a bookstore and we walk out and I see he has a necklace in his hand for me. He takes care of the things I accidentally leave at his place and makes sure I always get to my car safely and checks that I made it home okay.

He also shows me he wants to spend time with me by basically planning out our next date at the end of the one we’re currently on. He’ll talk about things and adventures he wants us to do together. If I ask if he wants to hang out Tuesday or Thursday, he says both. Definitely in the beginning, he liked planning dates, going to the beach or docks along with dinner.  I’m lazy now and just want to watch Netflix but he’ll always ask what we’re doing and how to make our time together fun.

I love his work ethic even if it does mean regularly going into the office saturday mornings. He shows dedication and hussle to succeeding at work and I know that transfers over into all aspects of his life. It also shows his commitment even when time are hard or you’re doing things you really don’t feel like doing. I wouldn’t have lasted more than 2 months at his job so how he’s survived, I’ll never really know but I sure am impressed! (And definitely look forward to him working a job that does not have these long stressful hours.)

He’s also very funny in a creative way. He does impersonations and bits of fictional characters. He’ll use props around the house to add in on the fun. We also both like stand up comedy (kinda how we met) and I have a lot of fun incorporating comedy lines into our day to day conversations.

I’m a very anxious person and can get flustered easily but Boyfriend helps me not take life too seriously. He slows down my panicked pacing, letting me actually enjoy my surrounds and take a breathe. I’m always afraid of the rules, never wanting to get in trouble while he considers any deviation from the approved path a fun adventure.

If i’m upset he’ll try to call or even come over and see me in person so he can soothe away whatever is troubling me. If he’s already with me when I’m sad or frustrated, he knows to try to wait for me to talk it out or to distract me with light conversation. He handles my mood with just ease and I’m lucky he doesn’t seem to mind.

So there you have it, my boyfriend is the best and you poor suckers are missing out haha.