How to stop from getting in a relationship rut Part 1

Let’s face it, things slip from time to time. You get stressed and he gets busy and the relationship falls down the list. So how can you fix it?


Special date night

Any time you read an article like this, a scheduled date night always makes the list so let’s get it out of the way now. In the beginning of the relationship, dates were always planned, effort was always put into the outfit and location, and there was plenty of days between seeing each other. As a relationship progresses you see more and more of each other – the real each other that isn’t always dressed up and excited about a social night out. 

You may see each other everyday, dinner isn’t cooked by a professional chef, and a night in front of the TV in your sweats sounds like the perfect night. A comfort forms and less effort is put in to showing how you feeling. Here is where you have to learn to recreate that effort. Try something new like a cooking or painting class and you may learn a new talent your parent has and even laugh along the way. Dress up and enjoy a candlelight dinner to light a slow burn on romance. Or if you want to be budget friendly, bring some sandwiches to the beach to watch the sunset and walk the boardwalk. Maybe plan a surprise date that your significant other could really enjoy.

There are plenty of options for date night so try to not instantly shut down the idea. If we’re honest, date night might have to be a habit you work to form. Life gets busy and you just want to numb your stressed out brain with some wine and TV. But date night can be a stress reliever and can turn into a slice of relaxation you start to look forward to each week.  



The biggest thing is you don’t know what your partner is thinking! And they can’t read your mind either! You may feel like the relationship is getting into a rut and they might not even know its a concern, so you have to communicate to them the uneasiness you’re feeling. Or with all this time spent together, your partner is irritated with some habits you have, but they haven’t told you what’s wrong and instead just push away, letting the relationship fall down. 

Pick your battles but know that when things start to pile up it’s time to unload. Staying open with your partner can stop an ant hill from ever turning into a mountain otherwise you’ll find yourself in this valley between those two mountains. It’s good to check in with your partner regularly to make sure you two are always on the same page  


Just make out

It might seem like a faint memory now but in the beginning there was newness to this relationship and excitement of learning a new person. You might even remember that first kiss you shared. Sometimes there can feel like this pressure that a kiss is always going to lead to more, and you might not be in the mood for more. Both of you can make a point to just make out and let the excitement build again. Taking the pressure off can get you in the mood for all types of romances.  



  1. The last point, “Just Make Out,” works… One important change I made was to kiss my wife passionately every morning. It changed the attitude of our everyday interaction. Even on days when life was crazy busy (we have six children), our connection stayed positive and fun.


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